The love scene in question:
At this, Eliza and Ezra rolled together into one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.
More review snippets here. One includes the line, “do not read this book.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_the_Lost#Reception
bulbous salutation my dudes
Bogus!
Most non-non-heinous.
It’s like he wrote an already weird sex scene description, then right clicked every word and chose the last synonym on the list.
Someone should start a community for that.
There was a literary movement called Oulipo that did things like that. What comment-OP described would be a variant of a technique called “n+7”: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oulipo#Constraints
Being a big ou(x)po fan, they at least were good at their work. Highly recommended starting with Italo Calvino’s Cosmicomics or If On A Winter’s Night A Traveller
Calvino is absolutely amazing! I devoured Cosmicomics and T Zero when I was in college. The Castleof Crossed Destinies is another one.
I admit, I had a bit of trouble getting through If On A Winter’s Night a Traveler. I’m guessing it lost a lot in translation.
His book of Italian Folktales is also very good.
Edit: I just learned about, and ordered, this… a complete collection of the Qfwfq stories, including some never before translated into English- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Complete_Cosmicomics
On a related note, there’s the Bulwer Lytton prize for terribly written introductions to novels. It was based on the 1830 novel Paul Clifford, famous especially for its first line
It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.
What did he call it first then? A large hello?
Bulging greeting
He’s said publicly that he hates sex, so I don’t know what anyone was expecting.
He probably hates sex because it requires him to show up and actually perform.
Holy shit, that’s a good burn.
We’ll meet him at the Cemetery Gates.
Probably not the best person to write a sex scene in that case.
I’d hate it too if i thought sex was whatever the fuck this is
One can imagine him struggling to imagine the scene well enough to write it, then going to a toy shop, buying a Barbie and a Ken and spending the next half hour mashing them against each other in an attempt to visualise it.
I bought it on account of hearing how bad it was. I wasn’t disappointed. It’s like The Room in book form, but with unnecessarily flowery language. Brilliantly shite.
“hello, fellow sex havers”
That’s the worst writing I’ve ever seen. This guy writes for a living? Do people enjoy his works?
Edit: no, and no.
Falls completely flat without Johnny Marr’s guitar work.
If you read that in Morrissey’s voice with “How Soon Is Now” as an earworm, it is slightly titillating.
ymmv
I don’t want to kink shame.
All I know is I don’t want anyone’s breasts doing a barrel-roll across my howling mouth.
I assumed that it was like motor-boating except with 360 degrees rotation, which is definitely a normal and not at all weird thing
All I know is I don’t want anyone’s breasts doing a barrel-roll across my howling mouth.
Damn. There goes a potential match!
Have you considered providing the chesticles in such a scenario?
Sudden melancholic guitar riff
I’ve neen dying at “wacked and smaked” for 10 minutes
He’s hackin’, wackin’ and smackin’!
Can someone feed that quote into the new, anything goes image generator? I wanna see what a bulbous salutation looks like
That’s a sentence
Who is Morrisey?
A musician. Like Cher, he’s known by only a single name (though his birth name is Steven).
I also have it on good authority that he does, in fact, ride a cock-horse…
A sort of human endurance test of preening wankery. There was a kind of contrary fun about him until he stopped being coy about his racism.
What is Google?
I am going to guess he’s just borrowing from something from his past but has trouble translating it into something people would more traditionally get. But ultimately, I don’t know too much about Morrissey - other than at one point he was liked culturally (by those who listened to him) and then there was a sharp turn in which he is now greatly disliked. I enjoy The Smiths, although I’m not gunna lie and be absolutely honest in that I found them as an adult. But all things aside I am wondering if it’s because he is quite vocal about his opinions and they are quite unfavorable. And once you are seen as an “enemy of the status quo” you are open for ridicule as a whole.
But also he gave things a go. Eh.
But I do know he spoke out against meat and the tories. So eh. But someone else is probably way more tuned in on this as a whole over <<< moi.
I literally started reading this and I just don’t care enough to have this information floating around my head. I don’t like celebrity worship. But I also hate bullying. And I consider sitting around laughing at people that. So that’s why I figured I’d state something. Not so much because I want to defend Morrissey. More so because he did a thing, let sleeping dogs lay. Who gives a crap? And people can believe in whatever they want, as long as they’re not plowing in to others. I do agree that celebrities should be more responsible with their beliefs. But I also think people are entitled to their opinions even if they’re absolutely drenched in shit. I’ve got nothing else. You want him to fade? Don’t bring him up. But bullying is for chumps regardless of how it’s done.
Sorry… you think by posting a thread about Morrissey’s shitty book on Lemmy, I’m bullying him?
Because if Morrissey is on Lemmy and he’s that easily bullied, let me say this to him: Get fucked Morrissey, you racist piece of shit. Your book is awful and you’re worse.
I think in general people gawking at one another is not only training us to react to things that challenge us with bullying (mockery) but equally it doesn’t help us grow as a people. I hate racist, I don’t benefit a damn thing from hanging with racists. But I will also say that racism is there. I am not going to pretend it’s not. And I will also say that by thinking/talking/etc. feeding the media machine and filling it with someone’s name you basically increase the chatter about them. Which I suppose you can see right now.
But that all together I would love the face of the internet to change because I think we’re too prone to low-level jeering. And I think we can do better as a people. Which I would say is why I have never been on 4Chan and was very happy to leave Reddit. Because people who communicate like that in real life a fucking assholes. And I don’t really want to be a part of that. Putting someone down, to pick myself up.
You are welcome to not be a part of people taking the piss out of a right-wing racist antivaxxer piece of shit. No one else seems to have a problem with it.
I am absolutely happy to show what an untalented hack he has become.
But ultimately it doesn’t matter? And I just wanted to say that basically. That we’re not gaining anything by sitting around pointing and laughing at someone. I mean we really aren’t. And that was the stance that I wanted to take. That I think we could all use some more balance to our internet expression.
Which is a leap and a bound for myself, as I am a real fuck-face of expression. But ultimately I just don’t think it’s cool everyone sits around pointing and laughing at anyone in front of me or online I suppose.
I’m gaining a lot. I’m gaining entertainment. I value that a lot.
But you’ve let us all know how morally superior you are, so now you can leave us to our hedonistic ways.
He’s kinda a shithead. And by all accounts enjoys being seen in that light. IMO he claims more than his share for the success of The Smiths. Just listen to any Johnny Marr solo songs and it’s clear where their sound came from.
Don’t know a damn thing about a damn thing here. I really don’t know too much about a, b, or c. I just know folks hate him and that’s been pretty consistent for quite some time now. Cunts gunna cunt, but I don’t think that’s too off from how I hear it is with headmen (is that what they call them?) at the time.
