• Seraph
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    357 months ago

    John Deere™ Tractor Beam

    No you can’t repair it on your own - you have to bring it to a licensed repair shop.

  • Bappity
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    7 months ago

    data turns around
    “captain, did I execute humour successfully?”

    • The Picard ManeuverOP
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      7 months ago

      (I almost chose this pic for the last frame instead, but I loved Picard’s dumbfounded face too much)

      • Bappity
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        7 months ago

        Captain’s Log. Stardate 23170.6
        I have growing concerns about commander data’s new emotion chip, as he is struggling to understand the nuances and subjectivity of humour.

        Yesterday morning, he placed a dangerously high concentration of laxatives in commander LaForge’s beverage and later, followed him into the latrine, just to deliver a punchline about Geordi not knowing whether to shit or go blind.

        Doctor Crushers medical report stated that Geordi spent six hours on the toilet and was so dehydrated after, that he required an IV drip and an overnight stay in sickbay, where he continued to have explosive and uncontrollable diarrhea throughout the night.

        Because data is the only crew member who could enter sickbay without violently vomiting, I ordered him to spend the day cleaning and sanitising the mess Geordi left behind.

        In more ways than one, I guess you could say that he is in deep shit. Now that is funny.

        Anyway. Commander LaForge is feeling marginally better today, but is still quite angry and had to be restrained by security after attempting to dispatch data from the ships airlock. I have put them on opposite shifts to avoid further contact.

      • NaibofTabr
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        87 months ago

        I think Data just sitting there like everything is normal is perfect for the ending.

        • verity_kindle
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          27 months ago

          The closer your pelvis is to someone’s face, the more leadership they get. That’s what they taught at the Academy and that’s good enough for my pelvis.

  • @MajorHavoc@lemmy.world
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    257 months ago

    It’s perfect!

    I’ve wanted to see someone make this since the first time I heard “engage the tractor beam”.

    Of course, I was probably like 5. Then again, my humor hasn’t progressed that much since then anyway.

    • The Picard ManeuverOP
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      217 months ago

      I finally got your letter in the mail. It just took forever for the post office to discern your 5 y/o handwriting.

  • teft
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    187 months ago

    This could be a Mel Brooks plotline.

  • @Blackout
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    137 months ago

    This is why I prefer physical buttons over touchscreens in my starships. Happens all the time.

    • IninewCrow
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      67 months ago

      This is beautiful … this is what Risa is all about

  • @StillPaisleyCat
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    77 months ago

    Anyone else have Ukrainian farmers come to mind?

    Not that I’m suggesting mixing in a political war meme here, but that’s what popped up first for me.

  • @milkisklim@lemm.ee
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    77 months ago

    Fun fact I heard from an employee a year or so ago.

    When contractors for John Deere are hired to become full JD employees they call the process “getting a green card” on account of the new ID badge’s color.