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Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: July 1st, 2023

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  • What does “reporting an abuser” mean exactly? Telling the police that a crime has occurred? Absent tangible evidence like video, the only person who can make that report and it be taken seriously is the victim. And then what’s the charge going to be? That’s entirely dependent on the victim’s statement and evidence.

    If there’s no sign of visible trauma, the charge is likely to be very light, if any are brought at all, meaning the abuser will face little to no consequences and may now be very angry.

    For someone who is fearful for their safety, the best approach is almost always to flee the situation. This is easier said than done. I come across people in relationships with interpartner violence in my work all the time. We have all the resources in the world to help a victim escape the situation safely and find shelter, however probably over 75% of the time, even though they recognize the problem and even ask for help with the situation, they decide to take no action, or take action only to return to their abuser within a matter of weeks.

    The very unfortunate (and unpopular) reality is that interpartner violence is perpetuated by two people. Many people would end a relationship after that first red line is crossed, but some don’t. This can be due to fear, uncertainty, power differentials, etc, but it’s a psychological problem, just like the abuser is also experiencing a psychological problem with their inability to control their anger and violent outbursts. Both people are often reenacting experiences from their childhood that are deeply ingrained.

    All this is to say that this is a much more complex issue than this meme is attempting to portray.