Hey guys, I will try to make this short but it’s hard without giving full context. So I started talking to this guy roughly 1.5-2months ago, we initially met through a friend of a friend. We initially just did sexual stuff and then started talking more… over the time, I had been confused on what he wanted from me (relationship or not?). I’m gonna just put in dot jots of the things he has done through out that upset me and made me feel as if he didn’t care…
- when we first started talking and going out more often or whatever we had went to the movies and then at the end of the night I just wanted a nice quick hug so I was joking around laughing and I told him come give me a hugggg get outttt the car, and he didn’t bother. He made a comment saying “this isn’t a movie” or whatever. And I ended up slowly walking back to my car and he rolled up his window as soon as I got inside and left. This was also before we were clear that we are dating for intention of being partners
- mind you, I cut off my guy best friend irl and a long term gaming buddy I had for him, out of respect. So that also pisses me off that I feel disrespected by him and I did those things which I know is bare minimum and trust me, I don’t care to do those for someone I want to be with but for respect to not be reciprocated idk?
- 1-2 weeks before it was clear he wanted more, he made a “joke” or whatever he said he didn’t mean it that way where he texted me saying “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t be in a relationship because I’m not emotionally mature or wtv” and this because I told him that emotional maturity is a biggest thing I look for in a relationship
- he used to joke around and call me “dumb” “bitch” or whatever (I guess not in a serious way like we’d be doing a game or whatever) and then I ended up telling him I don’t like it and I think it’s rude. I ended up now telling him like ok whatever it’s fine like if we’re gaming or whatever it is cuz I do sometimes would say it back now so it doesn’t affect me as much in certain situations only.
- I feel like whenever I tell him about my feelings and things he does to upset me, he becomes combative. It’s like he starts making all these excuses. When I told him about everything he did, he started going one for one of why he did that, not even acknowledging how I’m feeling. It’s just like going back and forth with someone who doesn’t see what they did wrong, and he even says that he doesn’t know what he did and I need to tell him. Like it’s not that hard and I’m honestly tired of explaining
- tonight, I picked up these items from Facebook from this girl after work (11:30 pm) and she left it on her porch. I told him I’m going to be quickly picking up some stuff and he was chill about it over text and just saying oh why now? And I’m like well it’s only 7-10 min from my work and on my way back home. I shared my location with him and then he said to FaceTime him when I get there. I FaceTimed him as soon as I grabbed the bag as I just saw the message, and I let him know that I got them and I’m safe. And then he says something along the lines “so why are you FaceTiming me?” I’m like “what? U told me to” and says well u already got them so why” and was just having an attitude. And then he basically was telling me “dumbass” for going at night to grab stuff off Facebook and whatever and saying stuff like “it’s like those dumb bitches who go into the woods at 2 am and then something happens and people wonder omg why?” … I got upset after this and it made me cry because I don’t get why u have to call me these words.
And tbh, I never was treated like this by someone who supposedly likes me and see’s a future with me. It makes me upset because I want it to work and I know he’s a great guy and has a great soul underneath but there’s this part of him he seriously needs to work on or I am just being too extra/dramatic (as he says). I told him he upset me a lot tonight and just basically says “omg everything I do is bad” “you are taking it too far”….
Idk guys. I really like him and I’m supposed to meet his mom soon who really wants to meet me, I’m just getting emotionally exhausted tbh. And it’s not good for me to feel this way because I don’t want to end up fully not caring. Because that’s how it usually goes.
What the fuck. Why would you do that? Go apologize to your former friend.
Other than that, this guy sucks. You can find better.
Well me and these 2 guys, one I was in a sexual relationship with for a few years and the one online we’ve exchanged photos, I know it’s silly, but I thought it’s right to not have / talk with people I’ve been sexual with when I’m with someone
This is something you’d want to discuss with the guy you’re interested in, so you’re both making decisions from the same underlying expectations. It sounds like you assumed it was a problem, which may still be a reasonable perspective, but that’s why you discuss it with him first before cutting out two good friends who would be there to support you if this went sideways.
Wishing you the best going forward - these things can be tricky and it can be uncomfortable having these conversations.
This is unhealthy.
I’m still very good friends with two former partners. They’ve met each other and my current partner. They all get along.
Jealousy is a natural part of the human experience, but there are healthy and unhealthy ways of dealing with it. If someone said to me “I don’t want you to hang out with your former partners” that’s a huge red flag and siren. Do they not trust me? What else are they going to try to control?
Depends on what your new partner is secure or insecure about. Many won’t care. But its better to ask than to cut people out on assumption
If your partner is so insecure as to ask you to cut a good friend out of your life, then you need to not waste your time with that partner. That’s unhealthy and dangerous behavior