Comments Donald Trump’s running mate JD Vance made in 2021 questioning Vice President Kamala Harris’ leadership because she did not have biological children have resurfaced.
Some of us find fulfillment in life without having to fill our emptiness with children, having change forced upon us. Some of us are perfectly capable whole human beings capable of bringing change into our lives at our own pace.
And some of us just don’t like children and the life experience they bring.
I’m 56, Cis SWM, my home is paid in full, my car is paid in full, I’m debt free, and my monthly bills (minus food) are $400/month and I retired from being an FTE last year. I still do some contract work here and there, mostly just for fun and to stay active in the Infosec space.
I babysat my cousin’s 3 kids under 5 for the year I lived in their basement (free rent trade)
And above all the noise and hassle and all, the day I knew kids definitely weren’t for me… was the day the parents went out for one of their “be home tomorrow, probably” nights, knowing full well at least one of the kids had the flu.
It ended up being all three of them. All I did all night was give baths, sooth crying, change bedding, and clean up vomit.
I managed to keep them alive and relatively comfortable, but I don’t ever want to do anything even close to that ever again.
For me it was opening a door finding my sister, her crib, and every surface in her room covered in shit. I cleaned her up but closed the door to her room and left the rest to the parental units and said ‘never again’.
I’ve had 3x nephews over for several days in a row, more than once. Oh god no thanks I won’t have children of my own. Was sure of it already as a teen long before that, have not changed my mind since.
Yeah, societal pressure to have children is ridiculous; I figured that I never felt any kind of desire to have a kid and that should be reason enough to not have one.
I’m very close to you but I did get married in my late 40’s and my wife was mid-40’s. Neither of us ever wanted kids, nor had either of us ever considered marriage until we met each other. The marriage is more about dealing with elderly parents, insurance, shared assets like our home, etc. than anything else.
Going against the grain is tough. As long as no one is hurt, you and I don’t care for not conforming. But the reality is that others don’t care what we care, and relish in putting down those who do not conform. But as Albert Camus said: “if you can’t win, resist.”
Some of us find fulfillment in life without having to fill our emptiness with children, having change forced upon us. Some of us are perfectly capable whole human beings capable of bringing change into our lives at our own pace.
And some of us just don’t like children and the life experience they bring.
I’m 56, Cis SWM, my home is paid in full, my car is paid in full, I’m debt free, and my monthly bills (minus food) are $400/month and I retired from being an FTE last year. I still do some contract work here and there, mostly just for fun and to stay active in the Infosec space.
It’s fucking LOVELY
Preach. Some of us took care of our younger siblings when we were teenagers and that opened our eyes to how shit kids can be.
I babysat my cousin’s 3 kids under 5 for the year I lived in their basement (free rent trade)
And above all the noise and hassle and all, the day I knew kids definitely weren’t for me… was the day the parents went out for one of their “be home tomorrow, probably” nights, knowing full well at least one of the kids had the flu.
It ended up being all three of them. All I did all night was give baths, sooth crying, change bedding, and clean up vomit.
I managed to keep them alive and relatively comfortable, but I don’t ever want to do anything even close to that ever again.
For me it was opening a door finding my sister, her crib, and every surface in her room covered in shit. I cleaned her up but closed the door to her room and left the rest to the parental units and said ‘never again’.
I’ve had 3x nephews over for several days in a row, more than once. Oh god no thanks I won’t have children of my own. Was sure of it already as a teen long before that, have not changed my mind since.
Or took care of our older siblings children.
Shout out to all my fellow latchkey/free babysitter folks out there. I still resent that I never had a “real” summer vacation growing up.
Yeah, societal pressure to have children is ridiculous; I figured that I never felt any kind of desire to have a kid and that should be reason enough to not have one.
I’m married, 48, don’t have kids and never wanted them. It’s great, no regrets.
My mom is REALLY hoping that I have children and can’t accept that she’ll never be a grandmother. Best I can give her is animals
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I’m very close to you but I did get married in my late 40’s and my wife was mid-40’s. Neither of us ever wanted kids, nor had either of us ever considered marriage until we met each other. The marriage is more about dealing with elderly parents, insurance, shared assets like our home, etc. than anything else.
Going against the grain is tough. As long as no one is hurt, you and I don’t care for not conforming. But the reality is that others don’t care what we care, and relish in putting down those who do not conform. But as Albert Camus said: “if you can’t win, resist.”