Being labeled can cause offense. Especially if it’s derogatory. I don’t think it was meant to be derogatory by op, but it certainly wasn’t very sensitive.
I realize you expand on this in the rest of your response… but if you had only said this…
Imagine saying that to a black man in the 60s in the south who just got called ‘boy’.
Imagine saying this to Chinese person in the 40s who just got called a ‘Jap’ or a ‘Nip’.
Imagine saying this to a person with Downs Syndrome in the 90s who just got called ‘a retard’.
… When people, who have unalterable traits, tell you that they do not appreciate being stereotyped, having certain words used to describe them or people like them, or erroneously lumped in as the same as them, in certain contexts and ways… the decent thing to do is just listen to them and not demand an explanation why they find such things offensive.
Anyway, I believe you when say that you have had relationships with neurodiverse people, that you truly love your wife, that her quirks are a source of joy for you.
I do not mean to be offensive, but you describe neurodiverse people in a… typical way that a genuinely well intentioned neurotypical person who has actually gone out of their way to learn about and personally knows neurodiverse people would.
… I am apparently quite an oddity in that I am a high functioning autistic person. I don’t like to use the term ‘savant’ because it connotes that I am some kind of super genius. I’m not a super genius.
I have two college degrees, I consider myself more intelligent than others in many ways, but absolutely less intelligent or capable in others.
As an example of the latter… there is basically no way I could have this exchange with you in person, over the phone or video conference.
I would get too flustered and trip over my words. I would interject when I believe you are pausing to allow me to speak, but in actuality you were not expecting that and would find my interjection rude.
I would also make connections between topics and concepts that most people think are totally unrelated non sequiturs which make no sense, although you have stated that you find such connections to be ‘like seeing real magic’.
I cannot tell you the number of times I’ve been brushed off as a babbling loon by people who lack the patience to allow me to finish explaining the connections that occur to me, who lack the knowledge to even understand many of the concepts I connect together.
It is extremely frustrating.
In my life, its roughly a 20:1 ratio of people that just think I am babbling, to people who actually contemplate seriously what I am saying, and often respond with something akin to… ‘wow. I never thought of that in that way, but that makes a lot of sense!’
So, a neurodivergent person inputting letters scraped from Tumblr posts into a genome search engine is funny as hell because it’s such a strange thing to do and produces an interesting result. Why would someone do that? Why would you even think to do it in the first place?
My perspective on this is:
Other than inherent incongruity of the abrupt topic shift to from discussing the original image and its absurd visual metaphors… to ‘suddenly, genomic sequence of bird!’ being odd, out of place…
Sure, its uncommon, novel, to read the genomic post.
But why would you even ask why someone would think to do that?
That’s just a thing they enjoy doing. Its a hobby.
Why do people learn to unicycle? Garden? Drive a motorcycle? Ride a horse? Build sandcastles? Learn to dance? Build minifigs? Collect fucking funko pops?
People just enjoy doing things. Sure, some are more niche and rare than others… but why is there even a question as to why someone has some specific hobby as opposed to another?
Why does an uncommon hobby warrant explanation?
How can there be an explanation beyond ‘I find it entertaining or fulfilling or enjoyable?’
It would be one thing if some uncommon hobby seemed likely to engender physical or financial or mental harm to the hobbyist or other… but making a unique style of very matter of fact Tumblr posts doesn’t cause any harm, and they even wrote an FAQ explaining this, which … all you have to do is click on their name to understand what this person’s deal is…
But me, apparently (?) the only other neurodiverse person in this thread, took that basic step… while all the neurotypicals preferred to just invent their own explanations, come to their own conclusions or commentary based off of hunches and intuition, without doing even a cursory investigation to determine if their ideas had any real basis in fact.
So, given that I think some of the behaviors are awesome while being hysterically funny, what is an inoffensive way to engage in humor about neurodivergent folks, in your opinion? Are there any preferred terms that are shorthand for: “Autistic person pulled some fucked up logic trick or other stunt”?
Well… don’t use pejoratives? Don’t use labels when they don’t need to be used, when they aren’t especially necessary? Address people by their names? Don’t present then as useless invalids, or emotionless robots?
Maybe present … constructive compare and contrast scenarios, where a neurotypical picks up on something an ND wouldn’t, and the the reverse happens?
Like… I laugh when why wife does X… but she laughs when I do Y… and when she explains why she finds Y funny to me, I come to humourous realization Z1 about her… and humorous realization Z2 about myself.
??? I dunno, I don’t know how to write a comedy set, I generally do not socialize much IRL.
Just a brief note. Today and this evening are going to be very busy for me. I don’t have time to give your post the response it deserves and will do so later. Probably tomorrow.
I realize you expand on this in the rest of your response… but if you had only said this…
Imagine saying that to a black man in the 60s in the south who just got called ‘boy’.
Imagine saying this to Chinese person in the 40s who just got called a ‘Jap’ or a ‘Nip’.
Imagine saying this to a person with Downs Syndrome in the 90s who just got called ‘a retard’.
… When people, who have unalterable traits, tell you that they do not appreciate being stereotyped, having certain words used to describe them or people like them, or erroneously lumped in as the same as them, in certain contexts and ways… the decent thing to do is just listen to them and not demand an explanation why they find such things offensive.
Anyway, I believe you when say that you have had relationships with neurodiverse people, that you truly love your wife, that her quirks are a source of joy for you.
I do not mean to be offensive, but you describe neurodiverse people in a… typical way that a genuinely well intentioned neurotypical person who has actually gone out of their way to learn about and personally knows neurodiverse people would.
… I am apparently quite an oddity in that I am a high functioning autistic person. I don’t like to use the term ‘savant’ because it connotes that I am some kind of super genius. I’m not a super genius.
I have two college degrees, I consider myself more intelligent than others in many ways, but absolutely less intelligent or capable in others.
As an example of the latter… there is basically no way I could have this exchange with you in person, over the phone or video conference.
I would get too flustered and trip over my words. I would interject when I believe you are pausing to allow me to speak, but in actuality you were not expecting that and would find my interjection rude.
I would also make connections between topics and concepts that most people think are totally unrelated non sequiturs which make no sense, although you have stated that you find such connections to be ‘like seeing real magic’.
I cannot tell you the number of times I’ve been brushed off as a babbling loon by people who lack the patience to allow me to finish explaining the connections that occur to me, who lack the knowledge to even understand many of the concepts I connect together.
It is extremely frustrating.
In my life, its roughly a 20:1 ratio of people that just think I am babbling, to people who actually contemplate seriously what I am saying, and often respond with something akin to… ‘wow. I never thought of that in that way, but that makes a lot of sense!’
My perspective on this is:
Other than inherent incongruity of the abrupt topic shift to from discussing the original image and its absurd visual metaphors… to ‘suddenly, genomic sequence of bird!’ being odd, out of place…
Sure, its uncommon, novel, to read the genomic post.
But why would you even ask why someone would think to do that?
That’s just a thing they enjoy doing. Its a hobby.
Why do people learn to unicycle? Garden? Drive a motorcycle? Ride a horse? Build sandcastles? Learn to dance? Build minifigs? Collect fucking funko pops?
People just enjoy doing things. Sure, some are more niche and rare than others… but why is there even a question as to why someone has some specific hobby as opposed to another?
Why does an uncommon hobby warrant explanation?
How can there be an explanation beyond ‘I find it entertaining or fulfilling or enjoyable?’
It would be one thing if some uncommon hobby seemed likely to engender physical or financial or mental harm to the hobbyist or other… but making a unique style of very matter of fact Tumblr posts doesn’t cause any harm, and they even wrote an FAQ explaining this, which … all you have to do is click on their name to understand what this person’s deal is…
But me, apparently (?) the only other neurodiverse person in this thread, took that basic step… while all the neurotypicals preferred to just invent their own explanations, come to their own conclusions or commentary based off of hunches and intuition, without doing even a cursory investigation to determine if their ideas had any real basis in fact.
Well… don’t use pejoratives? Don’t use labels when they don’t need to be used, when they aren’t especially necessary? Address people by their names? Don’t present then as useless invalids, or emotionless robots?
Maybe present … constructive compare and contrast scenarios, where a neurotypical picks up on something an ND wouldn’t, and the the reverse happens?
Like… I laugh when why wife does X… but she laughs when I do Y… and when she explains why she finds Y funny to me, I come to humourous realization Z1 about her… and humorous realization Z2 about myself.
??? I dunno, I don’t know how to write a comedy set, I generally do not socialize much IRL.
Just a brief note. Today and this evening are going to be very busy for me. I don’t have time to give your post the response it deserves and will do so later. Probably tomorrow.
No problem! I appreciate that you care to write an in depth response. Hope all your activities go well =D