If you value your relationship with your son I suspect you should adjust your patterns. Obviously internet people aren’t going to have the full picture, but at 21 I think you have to let him write his own story and make his own mistakes. He’s not going to blame you for the relationship failing if you were understanding and supportive, but being unsupportive and combative will inevitably do damage.
The age gap doesn’t mean it’s a bad relationship, just an indicator of risks. Evaluate the actual relationship and don’t condemn it because of potential risk vectors.
Additionally, if the relationship becomes a challenge, you’d much rather he knew you were in his corner and on his side rather than being worried you would reject him with an I-told-you-so.
If you value your relationship with your son I suspect you should adjust your patterns. Obviously internet people aren’t going to have the full picture, but at 21 I think you have to let him write his own story and make his own mistakes. He’s not going to blame you for the relationship failing if you were understanding and supportive, but being unsupportive and combative will inevitably do damage.
The age gap doesn’t mean it’s a bad relationship, just an indicator of risks. Evaluate the actual relationship and don’t condemn it because of potential risk vectors.
Additionally, if the relationship becomes a challenge, you’d much rather he knew you were in his corner and on his side rather than being worried you would reject him with an I-told-you-so.