When my kid’s upset, they have trouble constructing words and will often result to just saying random things that are semantically appropriate but not true.

I think of remembering as two separate experiences: one is passive where a memory pops into your mind and the other is active where you try to remember something that happened. The active one is a skill which involves trying to predict triggers for the passive process to trigger those memories manually.

And I think of lying as interacting with that process in one of two ways: conscious and unconscious. Conscious is when you remember the truth and intentionally avoid it. Unconscious is when you have a sense that the truth will be harmful and make a point of not remembering so you can say something else.

Meanwhile, what my kid is doing isn’t either of these things. It’s not an avoidance of the truth. It’s a deficit in ability. They literally can’t recall the truth in the moment despite wanting to.

Calling it lying seems harsh and inaccurate, but I don’t know what else to call it or really how to help them navigate this. I just got shamed as a kid until I figured it out.

Wat do