Not technically my house, it’s my parents. But I live here so… its still my “home” for the forseeable future.

(My older brother is still living here too lol, so is my maternal grandmother)

So dad was using some weird temporary fix thing on the heater (like the thing in the basement hat heats your entire house), and now it finally officially stopped working.

I feel like I’ve been living in slums for the most of my life lol.

Not really slum-slum, but kinda feels like it.

House looks so… like broken…

spider webs everywhere in the corners lol, so much pest infestation

bathtub water leaking issues

I’m not trying to complain, hey, at least I’m not out on the street and homeless… so I guess I’ll take that… 🤷‍♂️

But still…

Still… I’m basically just hiding in one room with the space heater turned on… don’t wanna even step outside the room.

This is making my depression much worse… idk why… like I always feel very very depressed at nights and in winters, and when I’m not in the right temperature, extreme colds and extreme heat…

and it just snowed, so…

ugh…

can’t even touch grass… unless I wanna freeze outside and touch snow…

or accidentally stemp on frozen water and fall and then I’d cry…

so…

yeah…

Political atmosphere is just the icing on top of this cake of misery

plus the occasional verbal abuse from family members

(pls don’t tell me something condesending like “just move out lolz” rent costs the same as an average monthly paycheck, not to mention, the utilities service fees that they charge even with 0 usage)

Anyways, greetings from Philly

I hate my life… even though I know a lot of people had it much worse so I have no right to complain really.

Still depressed tho… 🫠

  • TheAsianDonKnots@lemmy.zip
    16·
    12 days ago

    S.A.D. is a real thing during winter. It may not be grass but get as much sun on your skin as you can during the day. Take vitamin A-E supplements if you can afford them, with a focus on the D. I’ve been there, friend.

    During rough winters, I boarded up my kitchen windows/doors with plastic and just lived in there. The fridge puts off a decent amount of heat and I set the oven to 120°F if needed and just paced around the kitchen. Put all your oven safe pots and pans in there to act like a heat sink and slightly open the oven door.

    Don’t get me wrong, it was still depressing as fuck but I was warm, surrounded by snacks, and I’m still here to tell the tale.

    I would suggest an inexpensive CO2 detector because I’m sure there were a few times I almost giggled myself out of existence.

    You got this. I believe in you.