As I mentioned in a previous post, I (Gen Z) was a parentified kid. My parents (millennials) didn’t actually raise my younger brother… They didn’t even parent him.
My brother is 12 now and I’ve always noticed that he lacks a lot of basic skills, like making his own breakfast, using a microwave or even closing a window. I used to think it was because he has ADHD that he doesn’t know how to do basic stuff and I was made to do everything for him as a kid.
But after him having friends over and seeing their behavior… It’s not just my brother, these kids are genuinely slow sometimes.
The conclusion I ended up with was that being raised by phones, tablets and computers instead of parents drove these kids away from the real world. So now they look like versions of Mr Bean, or like aliens that have never been on Earth (yes genuinely like that, it’s not even an exaggeration these 11-12 year olds struggled to pour themselves a glass of water)
Now I’ve seen some millennials trying to pretend this is just the general trend of older generations hating on the younger ones… But it’s not just that, when I was my brother’s age I was able to take care of a toddler, an animal and the house chores, these kids can’t even fix themselves a basic snack without making a mess.
It’s so sad that their parents have destroyed their social and basic skills like that.
In what way where your parents different when raising you or is the main difference the availability of digital screens rather then physical play?
At what age did you and and your brother get their own device/unlimited access?
My mom has a cleanliness obsession, so the difference is that I was made to take care of house chores since a young age. My brother didn’t have to do anything because I was already there, I was the one to “raise him”. But to be honest I did it poorly to because I did everything for him and got mad at him easily.
No you’re on to something. I think you might be a little harsh on your brother due to proximity, but millenials were raised by xers and we inherited lots of the same deficiencies we’re giving to you.
The biggest one being that creating functional adults is an active and collaborative effort. There’s a point in children’s lives where we’re really eager to go “well they’re fucked” and just stop working on that collaborative effort because its no longer as salient of a narrative to us as a kid developing into a screwup.
If you want to see people be better, you can be a positive presence in someone’s life right now by simply giving what you can in time and patience to another person’s growth. It doesn’t immediately pay off, and it usually doesn’t pay you, but little acts over a lifetime heal the negligence that was passed down to you.
Well I’m being harsh to my brother because I’ve been the one doing everything for him since I was younger than he is right now. So seeing these kids being unable to do basic tasks for themselves is a bit frustrating.
For sure. and it shouldn’t all be on you. Parents making kids raise their kids is shitty. Mine did it to me too because they were also deadbeats.
But that’s not really your little brothers fault. You’re punishing him for something he can’t control or consent to.
Don’t let me tell you your business, you both have whole lives ahead of you that might be just fine even if you go you went no contact when you get older. But there’s also an opportunity there for both of your lives to suck less, which is the desire underlying your post no?
No I’m already an adult, I still love my parents even if they were bad parents they’re still good people.
This post was only because I saw my brother’s friends be the same as him which shocked me, either I was Einstein as a kid or kids nowadays are dumber.
Yeah they dumber. But that’s kind of on everyone else, not their fault
Why do you think your parents took a different approach with your brother?
I am not trying to pacify you, I like your resistance but I will say i dont subscribe to generational wars and, applying an observation to a blanket audience does not mean its true. I am just trying to play devils advocate.
Because I was the first child, the first child always has more responsibility. It’s also a complicated family dynamic, I’m trans and came out very young so my parents approach was to raise me as they would raise a woman which means taking care of the younger siblings and taking care of the house, things my older brother didn’t have to do for example (my older brother is from a different marriage of my dad, we’re half siblings)
I agree being the eldest and hierarchy of female does come with baggage. Again second families and all comes with different results.
I will they are the first mainstream gen to raise children who do not identify with their birth, and there was no guide to that, they were likely learning about this as you were whilst also fielding off their parents questions and thoughts.
The biggest thing here is your peace and your relationships with others, inc your brother. I kind of think blaming generational stereotypes will just hinder you. You have a right to be angry and fight what you think is unfair…Just be clear on what that is and how it will help you…but ideally without hurting others too.
