(POST EDIT: TRYING TO MAKE THE SITUATION LESS CONFUSING)

  1. Demigirl part (on my bio) is just my dissociation/emptiness feeling making me not have sense of my own gender;

  2. Yeah, I seem to be bissexual;

  3. This is the fourth school I’ve been on and I’m always bullied. Infact, they managed to get me on a written warning situation just today;

  4. Somehow, I ended with a crush on a girl from my church. I thought I was really bi and got all invested on it (thus the porn);

  5. But then I realized I also have crushes on EVERY. PERSON. that was nice to me and not my friend or relative. Which means my brother’s friends, online friends…;

  6. And now I want help to stop.

  • MeowerMisfit817@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
    2·
    2 days ago

    I mean liking as in having a crush, a love interest. Can’t have anyone doing the slight thing to me without imagining myself having a date with them.

    • EnsignWashoutEnglish
      1·
      2 days ago

      Yeah. That reminds me of my friend.

      She was embarrassed about it sometimes, but she was also at the heart of our friend group. I think those are related.

      I think it sometimes, maybe often, made her feel small and vulnerable.

      But she liked people quicker and better than I ever could. And she often did a better job than I could of telling people how she felt.

      She was a warm person trying to fit into a cold culture.

      I think she realized her own warmth was a strength, eventually.

      Now I try my best to let go and feel and show love the ways she did.

      Edit: To be clear - she would crush hard on someone new very quickly. Then she would share it and sometimes get ingored or hurt, or sometimes date for awhile and break-up.

      But whatever happened, if they didn’t turn out to be total assholes, she chose to be an irrepressible friend toward them, afterward.

      She was always self conscious about the whole cycle - but we all admired her.

      We were pretty honest about that, but some people have a hard time accepting compliments.

      I learned a lot about how to be a better friend, from her.

      I wonder sometimes how her eventual husband (now widow) felt about her fan club of exes. I figure he must have been pretty confident - he would have had to be!