Honestly? I found being properly medicated for my ADHD got rid of most of my anxiety. Most of it was around executive functioning stuff - remembering the millions of day to day things. Work tomorrow, trash day, make that appointment, where’s my keys, did my alarm go off, where’s that sticky note, do the dishes, do I have a clean shirt for tomorrow, did I talk too much, did I not talk enough, do they hate me… It went on and on.

When I finally got on the correct meds, my husband pointed out that I was so much calmer. I was able to dismiss the anxiety easier when it appeared and could more easily find the root of it and see it for what it was, which made it dissipate quickly.

ADHD meds are usually inexpensive. I take a slow release in the morning and 5mg regular in the afternoon when it wears off. On weekends or days I don’t need to, I don’t take the afternoon meds.

Your mileage may vary, but it’s worth thinking about whether medicating one issue properly might have a cascading effect.

What works best for me when I’m in a panic is slow deep breaths in followed by a slow exhale. I always forgot about slowing down the exhale, but it’s really important. I started wearing a necklace that’s hollow like a straw to help when I’m too freaked out to force myself to do it.

Another tool I learned in counseling is going 5-4-3-2-1 through my senses. 5 things I can see, 4 things I can hear, 3 things I can touch, 2 things I can smell, 1 thing I can taste. You can mix up the senses if you want, and I don’t always get through the whole thing, but the act of looking for and naming things I can sense seems to help calm me down. It’s a pretty common grounding technique for disassociation.

I don’t take meds for anxiety and chiefly because the ones that aren’t controlled substances just do not work. I don’t cope well so I am the last person to have any advice. I try meditation but even that only gives me momentary relaxation. The root of the problem is honestly capitalism and the difficulty of living in a society where there is no safety net where most of us are one or two paychecks from being on the street. For people like myself that already suffer from mental illness, the present situation only makes things that much worse.

I went the unmedicated route. I read a book that changed everything for me and taught me to think differently about my anxiety. It basically destigmatizes the idea that anxiety is a bad thing which actually made my anxiety return to manageable levels. Eventually I stopped worrying about my anxiety and things just kept getting better and better. Every now and then I’ll have a bout where I’m more anxious but I’ll just remember that it’s normal and it never escalates beyond that. I feel like I have a healthy perspective about anxiety now.

Check out the book Dare and see if it clicks with you.

I have very bad anxiety as well, and I can’t take the most common medications for it due to problems with benzo addiction. For the most part I can manage it without meds but when it becomes overwhelming what I do is cancel any plans and gtfo of where I am, and go to the gym and do strength training until my body and mind are too fatigued for me to continue worrying about nothing. This will put me in a more relaxed mood for the entire rest of the day.

I know a lot of people struggle to find the motivation to get to the gym. For me I try to see it as me owing myself the peace of mind it gives me. I don’t work out to get jacked or be healthy. I work out because it’s one of the few things that can slow my brain down.

I also have ADHD and it contributes to my anxiety when I feel like I can’t focus or be productive in the areas I need to be. I know you said “without meds” but I would consider medicating just the ADHD if you can afford it. And personally, Concerta, Ritalin and Adderall all made my anxiety worse. Vyvanse is the only medication that makes me focus without making me more anxious.

Other than that, my last and most controversial mention would be smoking marijuana or even just getting some kind of CBD if you’re particularly anxious some nights. This isn’t for everyone, and if you have problems with addiction you need to be very careful. But personally I need to be able to sometimes forcefully tell my brain “okay worry time is done now” and weed works well for that, especially if I have been to the gym earlier.

Hope you survive alright my friend.

To calm my mind I work to reduce:

• unwanted inputs
• broadcast media
• advertising
• bad faith arguing (and the unfortunate corresponding output of me arguing back, feeling angry & hopeless)
• time and energy spent harming my own wellbeing (I chose a path of financial instability for mental health; my prior jobs made me & the world worse)

& to increase:

• silence
• walking
• nature appreciation
• reading
• creativity
• meditation

Meditation is something I have felt for years I should do, but didn’t. Just last week I started a new daily practice. I had difficulty with apps and podcasts and YouTube videos because of the capitalist need for $urvival. When the path to inner peace features billboards I tend to lose focus. So I started doing it myself. I’m recording the sessions and will share them to encourage others who may be like me. I intend to show that maybe it’s not so difficult and foreign to pause and breathe and talk to oneself. In no way am I following any meditation tradition. I considered coming up with another label but felt that meditation would be the one most easily understood. I have joined this community and will post my meditation series here in the next week or two.

My name is Rob. I’m 51. I’m an abstract expressionist painter. My diagnoses (received in my early 20s) are ADHD, major depression, and eventually bipolar. I have taken many prescriptions. I have attended much therapy. I’m not doing either at the moment, for a combination of financial and DIY/philosophical reasons. I do not judge the course others take on their route to survival. At least I aspire not to judge. It’s one thing I’m working on, including in meditation.

P.S.
I experienced mild anxiety as I wrote this comment in the form of these thoughts:

• Maybe after one day HandOfDoom already received enough response. I can think of many times I’ve reached out online then retreated as I felt overwhelmed by replies — and I’m not talking as someone with a huge following, 3 replies can overwhelm me!
• If I’m not careful I will write a book length response because figuring this stuff out is my life story.

Dealing with this kind of thing is a multi pronged effort.

Meds can be one of those prongs. In a pinch, you can substitute a little valerian for break-through when better (read: more consistent) choices aren’t feasible. Things like chamomile tea can serve to give you a tiny bit of external reinforcement when combined with the mental focus it brings while making and drinking it.

But you gotta combine that stuff with actual coping methods, just like with prescription meds. Meds just give you the cushion to use long term methods like meditation, exercise, lifestyle changes, identifying and working around triggers, etc.

You gotta come at this kind of thing holistically (and I don’t mean the usual bullshit use of the word, I mean treating the entirety of the self)

I’ve made a lot of lifestyle changes to help my anxiety. Here’s most to least helpful for me:

• Good sleep habits (7-8 hrs, bed early, restful habits 1 hr before bedtime with low screentime)

• Consistent exercise. This doesn’t have to be intense but it does have to be consistent. Even a 5min walk.

• Lower caffeine use.

• Bring alcohol use as low as possible.

• Solid anxiety attack techniques - grounding and holy basil extract works for me.

• Doom scrolling awareness and limitation.

• Eating healthy which is unfortunate cause I love me some junk food.

Therapy is a great one too but that’s for overall mental health.

When I’m in a high anxiety period I do a status check - have I been keeping up with my routines, do I need a nap/food/shower/hug? Personifying my anxiety helps too cause then I can treat it like a toddler. What is anxiety toddler scared about today and how do I feed it good things to ease or distract?

Hope these help. Best of luck, friend.

I’m going through a very similar situation. Honestly my first and most important bit of advice GET MEDICATED. It helps so so so much (even if it stops actively feeling like it). Seriously, I cannot stress enough how important medication is.

My biggest issue with my anxiety/depression is my overthinking. It feels GOOD for me to spiral as deep into my thoughts and worries about myself, my relationship, my problems (bills, health, etc) as possible. My advice for this is to take things one step at a time. Literally force yourself, when you’re having these incredibly stressful moments, to have a “1 foot in front of the other” mentality.

You have to understand and accept that it IS okay to have these feelings/thoughts/emotions AND its okay for you to experience them. Just don’t let them take control, and tell yourself you’re going to move forward, one step at a time.

I know the advice I gave is hard. It is really fucking hard to stay on top of. Do not feel bad if you don’t get it the first couple times you try. It’ll take time to get into the flow of things. But that’s just how it has to work. You’re forcibly trying to “rewrite” how your mind responds to traumatic/triggering stimuli.

The things that helped me, more than any drug ever did, have been running (or any intense exercise you like), yoga, meditation, and eating health.

Running burns off some very frenetic energy that used to find it way to making me anxious and/or depressed. The more I push myself, the better it seems to work out. Plus, endorphins, yay.

Yoga and meditation both have helped me to accept feelings as what they are, and understand that they aren’t inherently bad. It has also helped me to know that to do with my body, before the anxiety sets in, or if it gets that far, how to be ok with it. Breathing, unclenching jaw, relaxing muscles that have tensed up. Just those little actions takes my mind from the omg omg omg the world is closing in on me feeling, to oh wow that thing is making me want to freak out, but I don’t have to.

Eating healthy has had many MANY benefits, and may not be the biggest contributing factor to anxiety, but not being amped up on sugar, fat, carbs, and caffeine probably a really good thing.

For me, exercise and meditation help a ton. Therapy also helps.

Meds really helped me with anxiety (Thank you trazodone) but for personal reasons I’m in the process of going med free. I too feel like I don’t need them at the moment and I’m open to starting them again.

What changed is my diet and what I do with my free time. Going vegan made me reduce the junk food I consume to a minimum and helped me lose a little bit of weight. I’m a firm believer that eating more whole foods and less processed ones can impact depression and anxiety in a good way. My blood work showed that after supplementation I was on the low end of vitamin D levels so I’ve been deficient all this time. That can also manifest as anxiety.

For my free time I found a hobby that doesn’t involve screen time. Social media, news, phones are overstimulating for me. Video games also disrupt my sleep and make me overexcited. I do cross stitching, my SO, also an anxiety sufferer found that gardening helps them a lot.

Reducing caffeine intake has helped me a lot. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy helped me some. One thing I learned from my therapist was to ground myself in reality by just looking at what was around me. Literally just look around at different objects around you and notice things about them. Focusing on my breathing helps as well. Maybe the last two simply act as a distraction, but they seem to work.

Run. Don’t come at me for my simple suggestion.

L-Theanine and/or ashwaganda may help on the anxiety side of things.