Every time somebody called boobs “bazookas” he’d show up and say “the panzerfaust was a deadlier antitank weapon” blah blah blah.
Every time somebody called boobs “bazookas” he’d show up and say “the panzerfaust was a deadlier antitank weapon” blah blah blah.
Yeah but that one belonged to Nappa and it smells like cabbage and gym mats in there
Back when I called myself a “progressive democrat” i thought it was funny in the depressing way when democrats would try to shame them over it and it bounced off their Hipocrisy Shield and republicans would continue being shameless dickheads
I mean I don’t fault the democrats for trying it the first time but decades and decades of it got depressing to behold.
Using the ridges on the refried bean log to gauge portion size gang
Damn I forgot that is a reddit thing, it’s been so long since I posted there
The username makes a lot more sense, now.
Wild that he was signing up for porn forums and was like “I know, I’ll use the same one as my hobby forums!”
Imagine the reverse. You’re on some hobby forum asking what kind of glue works best for assembling tiny village trees and some guy with the most NSFW name ever gives you an answer. Thanks JelqKingProlapse1972, I’ll be sure to buy that specific brand.
“That’s not who I am but it’s who I became.”
That’s not how words work, buddy.
My favorite part is the rigging that makes it look like Trump is sailing into Scooby-Doo spider webs
From the perspective of one of the crew that got eaten by the cyclops (its a very short book)
They’ll use some tonnage loophole to exempt their murder plow trucks by classing them as commercial vehicles and thereby increasing the size and deadliness as well as reducing fuel economy even more. Three birds with one stone!
Tell each of them individually that they are the favorite but not to tell the others this fact.
Have a family meeting with all my children. Produce a sealed folder. Tell them its a new will and the favorite child will get everything. Watch chaos unfold while eating a Filet o Fish sandwich. Take too big of a bite and die. Inside the folder is a Polaroid of me and Jeffrey Epstein with our names on the back written in glitter ink.
They think the “marketplace of ideas” is a really smart idea that produces smart solutions and that by believing in the marketplace of ideas they are smart (because that’s what a smart person would believe, obviously)
Turns out the Habsburgs were trying to create the Woke Kwisatz Hederach via cousinfucking.
It’s almost the greatest Scottish name of all time, but that honor belongs to Marmaduke Thweng
“And so” said he, the divorced man
"I have, at last, a master plan.
To purchase things to woo a woman
Buy her spices, silks, and linens
Perhaps a horse for her to ride
Will keep her loyal by my side."
To the market he did hurry
Moving quick and slightly worried
He found the clothier had closed
The flower shop had not a rose
He asked about and found out, too
The horses had been sold for glue
He pulled his scalp as he despaired
Unplugging all his plugged-in hair
"I cannot buy the things I need,
To get a girl to marry me!"
He stopped a moment to reflect
On what thing he would try next
He called up all the fortune tellers
Sayers-sooth and potion sellers
Wizards, mystics, learn’ed men
By bribe or threat he beckoned them
He told them all (straight up of course)
“You must make me un-divorced!”
He drank the brews, said incantations
Real stuff - no imitations!
He fasted til he was delirious
And said “At last!” (and he was serious)
Proclaiming that he’d had a vision
“It’s not me, they need religion!”
Varg was just mad he couldn’t stab someone in the back thirty times in self defense
They also do it for subs that are “controversial” like the sub for the Majority Report. Which is controversial if you aren’t a raging zionist toady.
It’s like they are the only bar in a small town. It’s a pit of hell but it’s the only place to buy a drink. So people tolerate the piss smell, the mean staff, and the boorish clientele.
It is the cheapest way to make the entire country of Italy furious so I gotta defend it