Therapy and meds sometimes are the answer.
When you reach a point in your life when your anxiety is just too much to handle, get help. My wife suffers the same thing and took too long to realise that was the case. Only when she was really at the bottom then she accepted help. But even then it wasn’t enough for her to accept that she had to take meds. I had to sit her down and say that what she was doing was not only destroying her bit myself as well. Then she really took it seriously and started to really taking the meds. It was a huge improvement. Anxiety probably never disappears but she learned how to handle it and the meds enabled her not to meltdown at every little thing. Long story short: get help asap and your wife is probably suffering as much or even more than you. Don’t be egoistic and treat yourself. As for being a workaholic that’s simple. Find a hobby you like and be a hobbyholic :D
Yeah, I think you should explore different options. She had the same problem and eventually found one med that didn’t make her sleepy