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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 10th, 2023

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  • Except you also fell for the trap of pretending to be educated. The entire “how to use ‘octopus’ as a plural noun” is an internet clickbait phenomenon, and both linguists and communications experts have chimed in to say that language is not prescriptive based on supposed origins of words/phrases, but rather it is labile and the most correct form of communication is that which is most readily understood – therefore, they agree, saying simply ‘octopus’ or ‘octopuses’ is correct in English, as that is what English speakers already use.

    A word becomes distinct from its origins based on the context it is used in - i.e. we’re speaking English in the modern era, derived from generations of English speakers, and we are so far detached from any Greek origins in our language that it may as well not exist; these words have become English words through common use, and thus are subject to the grammatical rules of English. In the future, other words of varying origins with their ‘appropriate’ pluralizations and conjugations may be slowly overwritten by casual or undereducated use, adopting English grammar instead, and as long as that becomes the most common use, it is then the correct one.

    After all, language is for communication, and communication requires common understanding, so language is naturally defined by that which facilitates communication - not notions of history or propriety.




  • I’ve never seen it either. I’ve heard of it though, but only in wealthier areas. Working class people don’t have the luxury of deciding to pay extra to alleviate human suffering - it’s the same reason walmart consumes all other choices; the average person chooses the cheapest option because they’re already scraping by. A more relatable take would be to just opt out of eating at places that demand tips – I already do that, but only because I can’t afford to eat out anyway :)


  • Did you read their comment beyond the first two words?

    They explicitly said to stop tipping by deciding to instead go to places that ban tipping, price goods higher, and pay their employees fairly. None of your argument about “you need to tip people who rely on tips” applies to what they said. You jumped to your “haha gotcha” moment a bit prematurely.


  • MantidSys@kbin.socialtoGreentext@sh.itjust.worksAnon hears voices
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    9 months ago

    You have no idea. I’m terrified of psychiatrists similarly to how I’m terrified of cops. I am disabled due to various mental conditions, and all it takes for my life to end is a psychiatrist deciding I’m not disabled anymore. Oh, and I’m autistic, which means people think I’m constantly lying because of my shit social skills.

    And I narrowly risked that recently - in an LGBT clinic, with an LGBT psychiatrist, I expressed concerns with how my mental conditions affect my perception of my own gender. This started an avalanche of being accused of emotionally manipulating the psychiatrist and having my medical record state that I’m likely lying about being autistic and trying to defraud social security.

    If I didn’t have a therapist that would lay their career down for me, I’d be screwed. In my situation, the only difference between a psychiatrist and a cop with a gun is the immediacy of the judgement.

    Oh, and don’t talk to self-professed doctors that work in psych wards, like the person you responded to. Almost all of them are run like prisons, but without any form of legal procedure before someone gets thrown in one. You have no idea how horrific they can be. No one with a conscience works in those places - they would quit, just like the supposed “good cops”.



  • I take the opposite approach. If I notice someone is more chatty than I am, I make a point to tell them upfront “hey, I’m usually pretty quiet, but I still enjoy conversations even if they’re a little one-sided”. It’s a good test of character - if they still have a problem with me after I communicated clearly, then we’re not compatible, and I don’t need to worry about them. But I have certainly had friends that would talk my ear off and I’d happily nod and offer small insights or facts, and it worked out. It’s more about finding the right people - instead of trying to become the right person.


  • MantidSys@kbin.socialtolinuxmemes@lemmy.worldditch discord!
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    9 months ago

    Normally I’d say that reddit/lemmy are poor choices for a community - but if the competitor is a live-chat like discord? Yeah. Lemmy is better.

    Project leads would just need to make sure to direct users straight to a specific instance that allows instant/unmoderated sign-ups, or else that element of friction will occur – and certainly not start the whole “there’s many instances, pick the one that’s right for you!” spiel, or users will give up immediately. I thought similarly about matrix - on-boarding users to a matrix community would be helped by explicitly writing a guide for them to do so, but then we’re back to step 1, where making a discord channel is quicker than writing instructions.


  • MantidSys@kbin.socialtoAutism@lemmy.worldWrong personality
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    9 months ago

    Because, for some reason, people think it’s better to smooth over social situations by acting inauthentically than handle any amount of friction or disagreement. But that’s how people end up with entire friend groups they don’t relate to, and feel unhappy.

    Personally, I think most people lack the emotional maturity to act authentic to themselves and say ‘fuck the haters’. People who do that tend to end up a lot more satisfied with life than chronic people-pleasers. I would know - I’ve tried both ways, and the people-pleasing only leads to anxiety and shame, like the OP’s meme describes.


  • MantidSys@kbin.socialtolinuxmemes@lemmy.worldditch discord!
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    9 months ago

    Everyone in this comment section is yelling about how bad discord is, telling people to use forums or matrix instead. No one is asking “why?”. Why aren’t people using forums or matrix? Because the path to user growth isn’t guilting people into the ‘morally correct’ choice, it’s making a product they want to use.

    Why are small communities using discord over forums? Well, we’re talking about small projects, hobbies, and volunteer work. Hosting a forum costs both time and money - renting server space and configuring/managing both the forum and the server. Making a discord channel is instant and free. You want your favorite project to have a forum? Then take up the mantle of hosting and maintaining it yourself. You want all projects to use a forum? Develop a forum system that you absorb the hosting costs for. Neither of these exist, so communities use discord.

    Why are small communities using discord over matrix? I’m in my 30s, I spend all day on my PC, I’ve taken a couple years of college courses in programming. Figuring out matrix was annoying for me. I had to figure out which client program to use, I had to navigate the less-than-ideal way of joining servers, and there was a difficulty curve for understanding the program’s features and how to use it. It wasn’t impossible, but it took effort. Discord doesn’t. For every step of friction, a product will bleed users. Matrix is cumbersome to set up and use, and it’s copying something that already exists and does it better for the end-user experience. It shouldn’t be surprising that people prefer discord. Want that to change? Start contributing code to matrix and refine the user on-boarding process.

    Instead of stating opinions, ask questions. That’s how things get changed. No amount of moral grandstanding will change end-users, no matter how correct you might be.


  • When my partner tried to apply for disability, she was initially denied. So she appealed with the help of a lawyer to try to put things in her favor.

    The lawyer showed up with a massive stack of papers, said “wow, this is the most proof I’ve seen, this should go smoothly.”

    My partner goes into the hearing. She comes out quite quickly, and tells me what happened. The judge confirmed her identity, asked her about her transgender-related healthcare, then said there’s no more questions, it seems like she can work, and that the appeal was over.

    The lawyer said nothing in the appeal. On the way out, he said “huh, I thought that was a sure thing.” We never heard from the law agency again. They were the biggest agency in a major city.

    Of course the denial letter didn’t mention being trans at all, instead it said she’s just lazy, and even had a claim that her medical history is likely faked.

    It’s an amazing system – very successful in denying people benefits.


  • It’s times like these that I’m glad I am autistic. You neurotypicals really over-complicate things and make life difficult for yourselves.

    How to flirt as an autistic person: make a friend over shared interests, spend time together sharing that interest, realize they’re enjoyable to be around, communicate clearly “I enjoy spending time with you, let’s do it more often”, slowly morph into a relationship out of convenience. Done.

    I cannot understand NT mind-games and obsessive preening. Don’t you get frustrated with it? And to think - someone who puts that much effort into judging you upfront is likely to keep judging things about you all your life, with no end to playing games… Stressful, no thank you.



  • MantidSys@kbin.socialto196@lemmy.blahaj.zonerule
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    9 months ago

    Claiming that being a femboy is necessarily partially kink is harmful. Would you say the same about other nonbinary people? Is being a tomboy driven by kink? Is being trans driven by kink?

    I think you’re telling on your own views more than you’re explaining how the world works. Identity exists separate from sexuality, full stop. Unless you want to revoke all trans and nonbinary identities from aro/ace people too.

    And just in case you’re just talking about how people view femboys - who cares? Some people view the LGBTQ as child-rapists, and we don’t care what they think. We tell them they’re wrong and to respect us. Same here.


  • Maybe. But multiplayer games exist. And people have a very high standard for what population a game must have for it to be worth playing. People will consolidate into singular pre-made titles, compromising on their desires like they do now, in order to have many other humans to play with.

    Maybe AI can be convincing NPCs eventually, but people will want to play games with their friends. They’ll find out eventually if another character is an NPC or human, and they will care.

    Even singleplayer games will be subject to this, to a degree. People enjoy playing what their friends play - they like having the same experiences, they like having something in common to discuss, they like the shared experience that brings a sense of community to the fans of a single title or series.

    Sure, people could make any game they desire, but it will be isolating. You’re underselling the social desires and needs we all have. Maybe we’ll end up with something similar to Garry’s Mod and Roblox: connected gaming hubs where people can load up any number of experiences - but still being able to include their friends somehow. I think that is much more likely than the concept of a person sitting in the corner of a room with their VR headset, wilting away in a world of their own creation, having lost all connections that would otherwise surround them. Humans naturally fight against that. We’ll experience things we’re not familiar with, as long as we’re experiencing them with other people.


  • I hope you some day learn that everything in life is made up of many, smaller, things. And I hope that gaining that knowledge empowers you to feel like you have control over at least some of the stresses in your life. And I hope that leads you to a place where you’re not angry and lashing out at the very people you seek validation from. And I hope that when you stop pushing people away, you will receive the validation you need - that we all need, as human beings - and you can feel the relief you’re currently searching for. And that some day, the comments in this thread will seem like a silly thing to have been upset about.

    I hope you find the peace you need. Have a good day.