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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 24th, 2025

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  • I’m doing my part adding reviews to Mapy but it’s pretty empty in my part of the world.

    Also, I have mixed feelings about putting reviews in another closed system. Ideally there would be a FOSS review system based on open street maps that all map apps connected and contributed to. I’m not a developer or a multi-millionaire invester though, so ¯\(ツ)


  • I think that many people (not only men) believed that having women’s rights legally enshrined would be all that was required. You have the same rights now, so surely any failures must be because you’re doing something wrong (like the whole bs lean-in idea).

    The reality has proven to be far more difficult. True equality requires a fundamental shift in how society thinks about women, which requires effort from each individual.

    Discovering and changing your internalised biases is hard work, the kind people often need therapy for. Having to do that when it means recognising and acknowledging your personal privilege is even harder. Add in pressure to fit in with your peers and it can quickly become something you’d rather just avoid. That’s a very normal human reaction. In order to overcome this, women have had to basically scream each message from the rooftops until it finally sank in, and the internal changes started.

    However, screaming things from rooftops means some people will feel bombarded, while others are likely exhausted, feeling like “I changed thinking x and y, what more do you want from me? I’m doing my best, why isn’t it enough?”, and, again, respond by avoiding the topic.

    Tldr, it’s hard work for no immediate benefit to the person doing the work, possibly even negative consequences socially. Who wouldn’t want to avoid that? Also some people are exhausted from the work they’ve already done.















  • I’m going to answer what I suspect OPs question intends: do I expect to feel lonely and unloved when I die?

    I hope not but that’s not my biggest fear about death. A hard truth is that in order to die, something bad has to happen. My fervent hope is that, whatever that bad thing may be, I don’t ever lose my mind, I don’t suffer terribly, and no-one else is traumatised or injured by that bad thing.



  • I enabled this has an automated feature, but most of the time, I turn it off manually without thinking much about it

    It wouldn’t work as an automated change for me either. I only use it to switch off when I feel stuck. You know that feeling of “just one more post / episode / video”, when you know you need to stop but it just feels too hard? That’s what I use this for, as a support for doing something I actually want, not as a timer limiting my online time.

    This could work if I put the alarm in a difficult to reach position, so I realy need to stop the current thing to reach it, and then it may be easier to start the next thing?

    It may help to set the immediate goal lower than “start the next thing”. The aim of the alarm is to stop what you’re doing and give yourself space to make an active choice. So turn off the alarm and go get a drink, or go to the bathroom, or go stand on the balcony and enjoy the sun, something quick and easy that physically feels good. A couple of minutes later, you should feel a bit more distance from the previous task. Now make an active choice on what you’re going to do next.

    I think listening to music could be a good task switcher, especially if the music is motivating

    It works for me. I do have to start an existing playlist or select from a prior shortlist though, otherwise there’s a risk I lose an hour choosing what to listen to 😂

    This definition seems to match on almost all digital activities?

    Unfortunately true 🫤 The podcast I mentioned “Your undivided attention” is all about technology that is designed for maximising your time on screen, rather than maximising your utility. The woman I mentioned actually studied physical casino design, and it’s kinda scary to hear how her findings translate into the digital world.

    Depressing stuff aside, understanding this has helped me make better choices. For example, Piefed has a scrollable feed but it’s not infinite - after a certain number of posts I have to actively page on. I enjoy logic puzzles and now I only play on sites that have daily games, and avoid sites where you can keep starting a new game. Small design differences can have a big impact. Also, I find it helps to understand why my brain struggles to stop in certain situations - I don’t appreciate being manipulated and that negative emotion bolsters my will power.