iminsomuchpainv2 [he/him]

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Joined 3 months ago
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Cake day: July 26th, 2024

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  • Jesus fucking christ you can’t look more human than an actual god damn mother fucking muppet elected leader of the worst place on this godforsaken planet TERF islands very own failson WHO CANT EVEN GET THROUGH AN ELECTION IN PUBLIC WITHOUT SNOGGING HIS MOTHERFUCKING WIFE IN FRONT OF THE PRESS OH L)OOK AT THE BELOVED ELITE CHILDREN OF THE WORLD WAR II WINNERS CHURCHILL IS TURNING IN HIS GRAVE AND I HATE THAT PIECE OF SHIT HOW DO THINGS ONLY GET WORSE LIFE IS A RATCHET A RATCHET THAT ONLY TURNS RIGHT UNTIL THE REVANCHIST MONSTROUS MUPPET CHILDREN OF THE ORIGINAL GENOCIDAIRES RISE UP TO EAT THE SHIT LEGACIES OF THEIR ANCESTORS AND WERE JUST SUPPOSED TO WATCH THIS LIKE ITS NORMAL EAT SHIT AND DIE














  • Comrade, others have had good responses already so I won’t try to give you facts/arguments, I don’t know that much about the subject anyway. But I’ll tell you about my experiences because they were all good, and hopefully positive thoughts will put your mind at ease.

    I was in a very bad accident once where I was knocked unconscious in a brutal manner (think traumatic brain injury). And let me tell you, it is one of nature’s great mercies that we are programmed such that I can’t remember that accident at all. Not one bit. Not like going to sleep, just complete, utter blackness with nothing in the void. Perfect unconsciousness. I’ve also been anesthetized a few times and that’s how I’d describe every one of those experiences: perfect unconsciousness with absolutely nothing registering at all. It isn’t like sleep, it is something blessedly less active. I know it sounds weird to say but I’m very pro-anesthesia. We can’t deny that things can go wrong, but this is one of those things like plane crashes - we fixate on what goes wrong (I say this as a nervous flier). Many more things go right. Hang in there!




  • My real point is maybe get therapy, not because you’re broken because you don’t seem broken, but to help you understand yourself and your needs and to have a better idea of how to navigate this imbalance and what it means for compatibility or how you can approach resolving it.

    Ha, the therapy’s working then! I am indeed in therapy for other reasons but it has helped all around. I’ve tried to get my partner to engage in therapy on her own or as a couple and she is extremely agitated at the suggestion. I would really like to get her involved because I think if we were both disciplined about it there could be some movement but on my own I feel stuck, at least with respect to the relationship.

    Re: your guesses, I definitely have a bad habit of imagining that other people care about me as much as I care about them. Our emotional states are moving targets so holding onto immutable concepts of friendship and love can be dangerous. For my part though I don’t want see my close relationships as disposable. But it’s good to remember that we have to defend ourselves too.


  • Good suggestions, thank you.

    Are you sure this isn’t solution-oriented vs venting-oriented?

    Yeah this is a good question and one where I’ve put some focus myself. For my part I’d say I’m practical and try to gauge at a particular moment if I should offer advice or just shut up and listen. If unsure, I’ll ask. For my partner, she usually jumps to advice, which I find off putting. In those situations I’ll suggest we move on and kind of retreat to deal with my issues on my own. That might be toxic in its own way and denying her the chance to try something different, but we’ve been through this kind of thing enough times that I can only see disappointment on my end if I ask her for a different kind of support and she shuts down instead.