My last big boss fight in PF2 lasted about 3 hours and there were 10 rounds in that time - so about 1 round every 18 minutes. The party consisted of six level 12 characters - counting the GM, that means the average turn was about 2.5 minutes long.

(That includes some RP as well, villainous monologues, rescuing the hostage, etc)

Granted, I use the Foundry VTT, which speeds things up quite a bit. (And is also how I was able to review this data). And most of us are experienced with the PF2 system at lower levels and had jumped up to level 12 for a oneshot.

Clean shaven arms and legs, combed hair (with highlights?), and an earring all imply that the goblin does care about and maintain her hygiene/appearance

This is one of my favorite systems and I’ve learned a lot playing it, so I apologize in advance for what will probably be a wall of text. You can TL;DR the bold bits.

Black dice are like salt, sprinkle some on everything - Black dice are a great way to add adversity from the world (poor visibility? suspicious guards? time crunch?) and a good way to use generated threat (distracted, damaged gear). Also, many PC talents allow them to peel black dice off of skills they specialize in - and players really enjoy telling the GM they don’t have to roll the bad dice.

Blue dice are like pepper, add a little to most things - They’re a great way to reward players who have a clever approach, tie in to character backstory (my former-pirate probably knows who to fence stuff to around here), good roleplaying, or good preparation.

Facing a player with something they’re good at is cool, facing a player against something they’re bad at is interesting - You want a healthy mix of both. A gunslinger PC wants to take out hordes of mooks and absolutely should get the chance to let loose now and then. But if the party disguises themselves as maintenance personal as part of a heist, that same low-int gunslinger should be flagged down by one of the staff and asked to fix a broken grav-lift. It puts the PC in a tense situation where they have to think (I can shoot my way out, but that blows our cover. I can try to fix it but raise suspicion if I fail. Can I create a distraction? Can I talk my way out?). Making scenarios like this happen isn’t too hard because…

Splitting the party is a great idea - As others here have said, combat balance is basically non-existent in this game, so a split party isn’t a death sentence in combat (and even losing combat isn’t usually lethal). Also, escaping from combat is much easier in this system than others (Hop on a speeder, hack a door closed, or just use a destiny point and shoot the door controls). Comms exist to keep the party in contact and allow them to coordinate/affect each other. (One character can make a distraction to allow the hacker to slip into a building - the hacker can then help the thief get past security, etc.) A combination of multiple objectives and time-pressure is a great way to get the players to split up. (And the Obligation system is great at creating secondary objectives for this purpose)

There’s plenty of time to get things done in combat - Unlike DND, combat doesn’t put a dead stop to everything else that’s going on. The rules say that one full round of combat in this system is “one to several minutes”. If combat breaks out, party members can still use skills, hack things, get to places, have conversations (probably away from the firefight). Very often in EotE, my players found themselves in a “fighting retreat” after tripping an alarm and needing to finish the objective or escape, it keeps tension up and you can use minion groups as reinforcements for added time pressure.

Meanwhile the village idiot is being flogged for heresy for daring to suggest that the prayer this stranger priest was chanting moments before his sister tumbled into the fire may have been responsible.

Timothy Treadwell and his partner were killed and ate by a brown bear after living with them for years

Actually, the bears that killed them were bears that killed them were not the bears he had been living with. The year of his death, he was actually visiting the area far later in the season than he had in previous years. The bears that were familiar with him had already moved out of the area (or started hibernation), and a new group of bears had migrated in.

What is a “settler” in this context?

Hbomberguy has a really good video about all of the problems that plagued production. It’s a pretty interesting watch that covers the way the story was put together, where the writers got their ideas from, and a bunch of behind the scenes stuff.

It’s pretty interesting: RWBY Is Disappointing, And Here’s Why

I’m very distracted by the fact that the answer given by number 2 is wrong.

Crazy how someone can go throw the process of writing and illustrating a math problem only to fail to count to 10.

And if you crop the first two panels and put the explanation at the bottom, suddenly it’s an SMBC comic.

And that’s only if they recognize what’s going on. If you’re just minding your business and suddenly it’s dark and hard to breathe, there are a bunch of monsters, spells, and magical phenomena that are possible culprits.

There are games other than DND 5E

You might want to try Lies of P. All of the highlights of Dark Souls combat and if you play your cards right pretty much every NPC gets a happy ending.

It’s free on Game Pass right now too, if you have that.

First time I’ve seen the word antediluvian used in a context that wasn’t referring to the ancient super vampires from Vampire the Masquerade.

Sacrificing a goat would be so much easier than some of the things I’ve done with Javascript. (Things that shouldn’t even be hard in the first place)

Whatever nerd.

You just hate me cause you ain’t me.

Is Konsi is actually flirting in the last 2 panels? Are we sure she didn’t get swapped with a doppelgänger?

The thing about the From Software games is that they’re (mostly) fair. Most action games give the player a huge leg up compared to the enemies - the boss has a glowing weakpoint that can be revealed with the item you found in the dungeon - or you’re a badass cyborg assassin vs rank and file goons.

In Dark Souls, you’re just a stubborn dude with a sword - and even the lowliest enemy can take you out if you get careless. But everyone is playing by the same rules, it sucks when an enemy staggers you and hits you while you can’t move - but you can figure out how to do the same to them. And the bosses really are doing everything in their power to make you dead.

The satisfaction of Dark Souls comes from meeting those challenges head on and beating them at their own game - or being clever enough to bypass or weaken the obstacle. It’s not for everybody, and it’s certainly not for anybody all the time - but it’s pretty awesome when you get to be David finally taking down Goliath.

Assuming you’re being hyperbolic at the end there - the samey, no-actual-options feeling of DND is what drove me to Pathfinder 2e. And all the rules are officially free here.

But if you weren’t being hyperbolic and want something in the same fantasy-action genre: Genesys is pretty awesome.

If you want something really real off-the-wall and different, try the one-shot friendly slapstick-comedy The Sorcerer Supreme (also free).

Not a problem, I’ll just grab some of the years from the end of my life and just kinda stuff them into the present to get me through.

Good as new without any downsid- why is my hair falling out?

Over the years, I’ve found it’s less helpful to think of the campaign as a planned road trip - and more helpful to think about it like you’re in a car chase and your brakes have been cut.

Don’t plan out meticulously, just prioritize steering into the next interesting thing that can happen, ideally one that the party is already kinda heading towards. You can have some ideas about things that could happen afterward, but you have no idea what your players will do yet.

They could befriend the lich’s minions, commit the crime before the villain has a chance to, or just straight up die to terrible luck.