• 2 Posts
  • 48 Comments
Joined 2 年前
Cake day: 2024年7月31日
  • subverted_per@lemmy.blahaj.zonetoTrans Memes@lemmy.blahaj.zone•What's Your Story
    1·
    4 小时前

    She is great, the best part of my life. She have me the space to explore myself, and accepted me as i was and am. I was a kid in the 80s and 90s not the best time for representation. I remember many years ago a friend calling me out for my own toxic views of trans people, and I think that was one of the first little movements toward being able to accept myself. And that’s the thing, im glad there is better representation now, and groups and allies that young people growing up like i did can find better models so that dont have to wait till middle age to figure themselves out.

  • subverted_per@lemmy.blahaj.zonetoComics@lemmy.blahaj.zone•A Trans Woman Walks Into Heaven
    5·
    16 小时前

    Honestly evolution is absurd, just look at religion: as a species, our large brain seems to exclusively function as a kind of concept incubator, and so we have people who latch onto all kinds of crazy ideas. Sometimes its something like hey what if we messed around with metals in an organized way, and bam we got the bronze age. Other times its like no, no, no the sky voice is very powerful indeed, which is why you have to cut off part of your dick.

    Sometimes I think Douglas Adams had it right about the nature of the earth.

  • subverted_per@lemmy.blahaj.zonetoTrans Memes@lemmy.blahaj.zone•What's Your Story
    17·
    1 天前

    I remember as a child wanting to dress as a girl. This was met with violent rejection by my family for the most part. I learned quickly as my personality was forming that parts of it were dangerous and scary, and to never show those parts. As I grew media showed me that Trans people were at best mentally ill, but most often paraded as sick, dangerous freaks. I felt like girls were more interesting, but I was just a boy.

    I identified as male most of my life, but I resented it. Men just dont look good, arent interesting to look at, so what’s the point of nice clothes? Male spaces are toxic, sports are boring, but of course im a guy so im not allowed in the girl spaces I wish I could be in. When I was a teenager I discovered anime, specifically ranma 1/2, and holy shit did i wish I could just turn into a girl. Still a guy though.

    Everything developed into fetishism, because I learned that what I was feeling and doing was perverted. And the only spaces where it was expressed was through kinky spaces. I got lucky in that I found a long-term relationship that allowed me to express myself, and explore the feminine part of me. But I was still a guy.

    As an adult I was vaguely dissatisfied with things. I was in a great relationship, still am. But I hated playing, dressing up or whatever because I would always have to put it away to go out into the real world. I remember my spouse once asked me how I felt during a scene, am I a boy or a girl in the moment? and I was annoyed because the thought I had was that im a girl, always a girl. Still didnt get it.

    One day im driving along having a conversation with myself as I do when im driving. It was a conversation I’ve had many times wondering about certain quirks of my creative process. But this time a little subconcious voice popped into my head to answer. It said “maybe you do that because its the only time you can ever feel entirely like a girl.” And i said, “what?” And my subconscious said, “okay bye!” As thousands of connections hit all at once in my brain.

    Now I know, but im terrified of it. Im middle aged, and my whole life Trans people were freaks. Thats obviously wrong, but I chose the worst time to figure it out. Because the country i live in has decided to use Trans kids as a bludgeom of what’s wrong with society. Im trying to live more authentically but I feel isolated. Therapy is helping, and I recommend it if you can get access to help. But I have a lifetime of toxicity to unravel.