I’m starting to reconnect with some of my old friends from high school but they have a 5-year-old now and I want to make a good impression but I don’t really know how to interact with children. Do I just like ask them what their favorite Disney movie is or something?
Likely most 5 y/os once they realize you’re friends with their parents will want to jabber at you themselves. Just talk to them about what they make it obvious they want to talk about at first. And don’t talk in a baby voice, IE raise your voice up high and stuff-- They’re little humans by that age.
Don’t overthink it.
Also, play dumb. Let them tell you things you already know. And when they tell you something wrong, guide them to the right answer instead of making them feel bad for being confidently wrong.
So just like with adults
Yeah, but your “within reason” window should be wayyyy bigger.
Like, you shouldn’t even let them drive sober.
There’s a lot of adults you shouldn’t let drive even sober
I’m one of them!
(I’m a really bad driver.)
Same!
(I don’t have a loicence)
Ask them what they like, and then ask questions about that topic. Children are the easiest people to make friends with. They will be excited that you asked them anything about themselves, and if you continue to ask questions about what they like, they’re going to adore you immediately.
I agree w this! I also usually bring my friend’s kid a sweet treat or candy or chips, w parental permission, of course. Now their kid not only gets excited when I stop by, but they also love cannolis now 😇😃😋
I’m autistic and bad with kids, but this has worked with every one that age I’ve tried it with: ask them what they had for lunch, then what they’re going to have for dinner and then you can branch out to favorite foods and colors and movies and then it should go easily from there
Just talk with them like normal humans and pretend that you are a giant 5 year old.
What if I am a giant 5 year old.
As someone with a 5yo.
Sit on the floor when interacting with them. Literally being on their level can help a lot, that and talk about stuff they are into.
As someone else mentioned, don’t baby talk to them, unless they have some specific learning disability, a 5yo will know a lot about what they are into (a dinosaur kid will know heaps about dinosaurs)
My boys all love Lego, build cool stuff, then let them have it, don’t use instructions.
Yes, floor time and getting into their world is real currency!
Show them tricks, teach them Rubik’s cubes or something. Kids love learning and novelty (not lectures: show, don’t tell!)
Even if it’s just grabbing a broom, holding it up and spinning around and getting dizzy - good, clean fun (until you throw up on them)
Aways come down to their height level when you talk to them so you can show them and read their facial non verbal language, you want to be on their same eye level but not on their face. Don’t stare or make too intense eye contact.
Pick a topic and see how much enthusiasm the kid shows, that can be a useful clue to see if you re going the right way with your interaction. Take into account that some kids (and some adults too!) don’t like interacting at all and that is also fine.
Some popular ones are: Dinosaurs, pets, tv shows/videogames, favorite color, favorite ice cream flavor, favorite song, favorite book.
Hope this helps.
I hated it when adults would crouch to talk to me, but I don’t know how common that is.
I usually sit on the floor
Yeah, I try to get on their level without crouching.
If some giant towering over me would sudddenly get right in my face not respecting my personal space talking in a cutesy voice I would hate it too. Maybe the giant has bad breath and/or is asking me inappropiate questions like if I have a girlfriend yet or to come and hug him. I would be terrified.
Getting down to eye level to talk to small children is the norm in early childhood education. While getting my Montessori training, we had a special portion of the program learning how to appropiately adress children in a respectful way to invite them and engage in x or y activity. Even where we had to sit to teach a lesson depending if the child is left or right handed. Small details are very very important.
My mom was a Montessori teacher, maybe that’s why it happened so much 😂
It always felt like we were going to have a very serious conversation and it felt condescending somehow (I now recognize that, at the time I just felt annoyed). I had unmanaged ADHD and liked to wander off, so perhaps I was having those conversations way more often, but I never liked it.
Lol yes to the “very serious conversation” bit, my kid would geta stern look at times and I always thought it was because for them, I was on “teacher” mode, very serious.
Me too, it was like the equivalent of the clown fear some people have. Like, why are you acting this way? It’s weird, you seem weird
They will inevitably ask you the age-old question of why…at that point you will go into the abyss of which there is no escape
Kids like attention. Ask them what they like to play, and what they like to watch. Talk to them like little adults and they generally will like that.
Get really hyped and stuff. Show them stuff. Play with them
Kids often don’t focus on the past or the future. Just the now. Don’t ask them what they did on the weekend, they won’t remember. Ask them dumb things like what fruit they like.
Pull up in a white van with no or blackened windows and offer them candy. Oh and make sure “Free candy” is scratched in on the sides of the van. Wouldn’t want people getting the wrong idea…
Now for the serious advice, don’t do dumb jokes like the one above. Kids need honesty. Screwing around for shits and giggles is always a bad idea around them.
If you have access to Disney+ or piracy, watching a couple of (they’re eight minutes long) episodes of the show Bluey would probably charm your butt off and also give you a lot to go on for fun ways to engage with kids.
It’s all about being real and in the moment, and giving them ways to experience novelty. A parenting book my partner was reading reminded her that all you need to do to engage a (toddler, but the point stands) child’s interest is to turn the laundry basket upside down. Everything that’s dull to you is new to them (and everything that’s exciting to you, they’re often not ready for yet).
Oh yeah, Bluey is pretty great. I have a couple friends who don’t have kids who put it on when they need soft, warm, background noise. It’s better than a lot of stuff for the same age range — I have a brother who is significantly younger than me, so I’ve seen my fair share of children’s TV trash and Bluey is a freshing contrast
Bring a board game or a pet.
SIT DOWN CHILD, AND WELCOME TO THE CAMPAIGN FOR NORTH AFRICA: THE DESERT WAR 1940-1943. IT SHALL MAKE YOU A MAN, FOR IT WILL TAKE TWELVE YEARS TO COMPLETE.
I’m more of an Axis&Allies man myself but sure.
I’m partial to Diplomacy myself.
(I lied I just want to name drop the game lol)
