• Match!!@pawb.social
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    2 months ago

    st peter at the pearly gates: “yup, looks like you’re up 14 carts overall. welcome to heaven.”

    • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      All sins and virtues get converted to cart return equivalent.

      “14 carts positive, plus those 4 times you helped old ladies cross the street adds 12 more carts, minus 8 carts for the time you tried to help one but ended up punching her instead (it would have been 10 but it’s reduced by 2 because Dionysus was watching that one and said even he would have had trouble holding his temper and he’s a pretty chill dude). You’re up 18 carts overall, congrats!”

      • Match!!@pawb.social
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        2 months ago

        “update, your next of kin bought 2 model golden shopping carts from the temple and put them by your gravestone, getting you to a nice round 20. here’s your all-access pass to the Garden of Delights”