I’m not sure I should start this conversation and I’ve been rewriting this a lot lol. But I could use some relating and opinions from fellow internet leftists
Ok so, to keep it really simple: I happened to share a meal with somebody I really liked. I have interacted casually (no flirting) for about a dozen minutes total and we exchanged contact because of shared-interests (not dating)
Now my brain is fried
I’m thinking about her way too much and it gives be bad vibes, she probably has no idea and I can’t imagine the sheer horror of realising that someone is thinking this much about you after so little interaction.
I want to be a well-behaved straight (kinda bi but that’s beyond the point) guy, I’m trying to be an ally to the feminist cause, so, failing this spectacularly at behaving normally in relation to women disgust me. I know I can’t remove the patriarchy from my body but I damn wish I could.
I think it might be important to separate this from “romance”
Its not really romance, just obsession
… huh??? Like I agree it’s not the same thing as romance but that seems like a really pathologizing word to use for something 70%+ of people have experienced
I don’t think you’re using the word “pathologizing” correctly. Obsession is normal, and most people experience it. The problems come from when people mistake obsession for romance. That’s the thing that would make OPs crush creepy.
Oh ok that’s based actually. Most people use “obsession” in a pathologizing way which can get really shitty with people who have special interests and stuff
If you want a less pathologized term, it’s called a limerence.
which people have been starting to pathologize
Patriarchal society do be romanticising actual obsession though. Lots of love stories are about obsessional creeps getting what they look for and they lived happily ever after
And I don’t think I’m obsessed, it’s still just a crush. I’m paniked by the fact that maybe it’s not good to have a crush after having so few interactions with somebody but maybe that’s just me