How people with ADHD feel every single day.
Life is too overwhelming and I’m always burnt-out. Every single day. Even if I’m doing absolutely nothing, I’m tired all the time and never have any motivation ever. The worst part is that people accuse me of just being lazy and uncaring, even my own lover. They don’t understand what it’s like and never will.
Even if I take medication, it wears off and eventually stops working entirely. So not only do I feel even more depressed and overwhelmed, now I have an Adderall addiction as well. So I stop taking it, go the next few months feeling the most miserable I ever have in my life, decide to start taking it again so that I can be a functional adult, tolerance kicks in after a coupe of days… Rinse and repeat until I die.
Idk if I have ADHD, but I have been diagnosed with depression, and I’ve said this almost verbatim to my therapist several times over the years, including yesterday:
Life is too overwhelming and I’m always burnt-out. Every single day. Even if I’m doing absolutely nothing, I’m tired all the time and never have any motivation ever.
I’m depressed and miserable because society is set up in a way that my brain just doesn’t work with. I’ve dropped out of college twice, and my work history is like a hopscotch board of different employers across various industries. I get burnt out at a job (the workload increases too much, the pay is too low, management ruins it, etc), end up quitting to try another industry, usually taking a pay cut because I physically feel like I’m going to explode if I even step foot in the old job again. Spend indefinite amount of time unemployed before taking some other job I’ll grow to hate and resent in less than 6 months.
Even my current job, I’m probably going to quit this week because I’m so fed up with life I’ve called out for basically three weeks straight. It cost me a raise I needed badly, but the whole time my friends are telling me to do what I need to do to take care of my mental health… But now I can’t pay my bills, and they’ve got overdue and overdraft fees because they’re late because I’m not making enough to keep up.
And I’m just done, I’m tired of it. I’m put on meds so that I’m not an inconvenience or burden to society, that’s it. It doesn’t matter if they fix anything or help, just so long as they make it so I can wake up and go to work and make money for the system that is actively leaving me behind. And I’m expected to be nice and pleasant and shit rainbows and sunshine while suffering day in and day out, because the idea of death makes people uncomfortable, because the idea that life isn’t working for someone else lile it is for them is just nonsense, it’s impossible.
And I fucking hate it.
“Ya’ll got any more of them day off from life cards?”
no seriously I NEED THE CARD
Need a year’s worth
every year for at least a few years and then maybe I can start pairing it down.
