• UNWILLING_PARTICIPANT@sh.itjust.works
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    5 months ago

    Speaking from the male perspective, I’ve struggled with this as well. Sometimes it seems being tacit is “rewarded” by esteem.

    So firstly, that is a sign that your partner may not be the one for you. But secondly, many of us men do not know how to communicate our emotions very well. We tend to think a breakdown is communication, when that’s just as explosion - a loss of control, maybe because the actual emotional communication didn’t come soon enough.

    I fared a lot better after I payed attention to how women navigate this stuff amongst themselves. They often go back and forth very rapidly with tiny emotionally charged statements, and do lots of following up and outreach. Sometimes they’ll do nice stuff for each other that doesn’t make sense until you realise it’s tied to some other thing.

    Lots of multidimensional supporting and being supported going back. And if it’s not going both ways, or the sines aren’t syncing, then that just means that particular relationship is not 10/10 and that’s ok.