Last night she was coughing in a manner my asleep brain read as “gross”, so unconsciously noped the fuck out of there and slept on the sofa. I can’t believe my non-awake brain got it.

She tested positive a few hours ago, so now I just have 7 days to worry. I probably have it, I feel a bit off already.

I know that it’s more than most people, but she was wearing low quality masks, going to a non-safe dentist at peak times, and avoiding the booster. I’ve been nicely pushing her for years, and she brings this shit home. She’s also sorry, and I say it’s fine because I want her to feel better and recover, but secretly I’m fucking raging.

Sorry to rant. Better on Hexbear than out loud.

  • JohnBrownNote [comrade/them, des/pair]@hexbear.netEnglish
    20·
    9 months ago

    the partner didn’t get a booster and was slacking on other preventative measures lol. definitely legitimate to feel betrayed. where’s OP’s empathy and compassion? where the fuck was OP’s partner’s empathy and compassion for the people she spread a disease to?

    • a_blanqui_slate [none/use name, any]@hexbear.netEnglish
      19·
      9 months ago

      slacking on other preventative measures

      How many people in your area are still even masking? I’m one of probably 5% in my area, so she’s going beyond the average. Could she have done more? Sure, but then so could everyone not wearing an NBC suit.

      • Kuori [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
        17·
        9 months ago

        yeah but measuring by what other dipshits are doing is the wrong way to go about it. there’s an acceptable level of precaution you can take and she didn’t bother. it doesn’t matter if everyone around her is a plague rat, there’s no excuse to join them

        • a_blanqui_slate [none/use name, any]@hexbear.netEnglish
          20·
          9 months ago

          there’s an acceptable level of precaution

          Yeah, which is always defined in a post-hoc manner in the negative, because eventually almost everyone is going to catch this thing, regardless of their precautions.

          I caught it when one of the KN95’s I was wearing turned out to be a counterfeit. If someone came at me for not checking serial numbers and stitching like it’s some sort of Beanie Baby, I’d write them off. Was my level of precaution “acceptable”? I don’t know, that doesn’t mean anything. Was it effective? No.

          • Kuori [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
            10·
            9 months ago

            I caught it when one of the KN95’s I was wearing turned out to be a counterfeit.

            i’m sorry that happened to you. you’re talking about a totally different situation than OP is though.

            wearing low quality masks, going to a non-safe dentist at peak times, and avoiding the booster

            is a series of intentional choices. you were the victim of an outside actor. the result is ultimately the same but OP’s partner could change their behavior and lower the risk for both of them. you could not have reasonably done much of anything in your situation.

            • a_blanqui_slate [none/use name, any]@hexbear.netEnglish
              9·
              9 months ago

              is a series of intentional choices. you were the victim of an outside actor

              I was the victim of my own lack of due diligence. The CDC had information on their website about checking for counterfeits and I didn’t pay it sufficient mind until it was time to pay the piper.

              Was it reasonable for me to have to do that? I don’t know, ‘reasonable’ is defined socially, and at the moment, the vast majority of the population considers mask wearing unreasonable, so I don’t know what good ‘reasonable’ is supposed to do us here.

              Everyone can always do more, but the reality of the situation is largely out of our hands, anyone still going out is only going to be able to shift the probabilities in their favor, but not control the outcomes, so anytime a breakthrough infection occurs despite n precautions, I don’t find much value in anger at the fact that n+1 precautions weren’t taken.

              I’d understand the OP’s anger more if there were some sort of betrayal, where she promised him to take more precautions and then reneged on them, but in reality, she took the precautions she was comfortable with, and despite wishing she’d take more, he took the precautions he was comfortable with, which involved close contact with someone taking fewer precautions. The law of large numbers did the rest.

              • dat_math [they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
                9·
                9 months ago

                the vast majority of the population considers mask wearing unreasonable

                Since when did we distinguish between reasonable and unreasonable by what the majority of liberals in the west think?

                I don’t find much value in anger at the fact that n+1 precautions weren’t taken.

                You don’t see value in reducing viral load and thereby reducing the expected severity of the infection, even in a post-hoc sense where you’re already infected?

                there were some sort of betrayal, where she promised him to take more precautions and then reneged on them, but in reality, she took the precautions she was comfortable with, and despite wishing she’d take more, he took the precautions he was comfortable with, which involved close contact with someone taking fewer precautions

                people in relationships are atomic and it’s never acceptable to be upset with one’s partner for prioritizing fleeting sensory pleasure over the health of everybody in the relationship

                • a_blanqui_slate [none/use name, any]@hexbear.netEnglish
                  7·
                  9 months ago

                  Since when did we distinguish between reasonable and unreasonable by what the majority of liberals in the west think?

                  That’s part of my point. Reasonable is not defined in any meaningful, universalizable sense here. The subjectivity of what is reasonable in this case is part of the problem. Who gets to decide what definition of reasonable everyone has to use is? She did what she thought was reasonable and so did he. Now they’re both infected. Doesn’t seem like ‘reasonable’ is worth discussing (cue Anton Chirguh)

                  You don’t see value in reducing viral load and thereby reducing the expected severity of the infection, even in a post-hoc sense where you’re already infected?

                  Of course I do, that’s why I’m spraying ridiculous chemicals in my nostril daily and teaching in an kn95 and bought a $250 air purifier for my office. But I don’t see the value in beating myself (or anyone else up) if (and when) those measures prove insufficient. There’s always one more step I could take.

                  one’s partner for prioritizing fleeting sensory pleasure

                  You and I must have very different dentists.

                  • dat_math [they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
                    5·
                    9 months ago

                    But I don’t see the value in beating myself (or anyone else up) if (and when) those measures prove insufficient

                    Nobody’s beating anybody up because those particular measures proved inefficient. People are rightfully dumping on someone who did not bother to take the extremely minor precautions that would have better protected their partner, despite their partner’s protests

                    one’s partner for prioritizing fleeting sensory pleasure

                    How else do you describe insistence on wearing a cloth mask over an n-95 or the insistence on not updating their vaccine? Why could a non-emergency dental appointment not wait 3 months until the next expected covid lull?

        • WithoutFurtherBelay@hexbear.netEnglish
          13·
          9 months ago

          yeah but measuring by what other dipshits are doing is the wrong way to go about it

          Kind of but not really, because the more people don’t do the right thing here the harder it is to do the right thing. After a certain point you’re basically expecting people to commit full martyrdom just to be moral people

            • WithoutFurtherBelay@hexbear.netEnglish
              9·
              9 months ago

              My point isn’t that that isn’t a fair opinion of morality, but that then expecting people to be moral is unrealistic. So you kind of end up having to dilute your own application of morality to even apply that, lest you end up just treating everyone around you as monsters or lesser (not to mention the self-hate that will occur when you inevitably fuck up!).

              So if you do hold that position, it also has to be tempered with an approach that no one is morally perfect, or you’ll end up going insane

              Edit: The only problem with treating everyone around you as lesser is it makes you bitter as shit and… doesn’t do anything. People don’t listen to the person constantly calling them shit people no matter how correct they are.