Let’s start with a big-ass “H”!

This is one of those unforgivable things.

Listen, we’ve all been there. It’s Tuesday, the whole week is ahead of you, and there isn’t anything good on TV. Sometimes you just need to do science. What’s the best ratio of baby oil to lube for cooking flank steak? The best ratio for checking the tire pressure in your car? How many times can you jump rope in a pool of baby oil with a lubricated Stretch Armstrong? These are questions that science hasn’t answered yet, and I’ll be damned if I besmirch Sean “P. Diddy” Combs good name because of the advancements he brought to the discipline of scie-- oh, hold on, I’m getting some new information. Ahh, I see. He’s one of those sex perverts. Uh-huh. That makes more sense. Very well, then, besmirch away.

Such an iconic design. That’s the future I want to live in.

That is a modesty wrap. Please, avert your eyes.

This is my favorite one so far.

RIP to all of the Freshmen.

We were all worried about AI being a leading cause of misinformation, but it turns out the GOP still has at least one election cycle left in them.

I meant to respond to a thread about parables.

I’ve been sober plenty of times at 6am on long car rides up the east coast. Waffle House is fucking great.

I’d wager that nearly all monitors use the VESA standard, so finding mounts shouldn’t be too hard.

It’s a fucking Tom Clancy novel.

Those are a lot easier.

Oh, my bad, wrong thread

Noem said Cricket had an “aggressive personality” and was “untrainable,” per the Guardian’s report. Noem took Cricket on a pheasant hunt with older dogs to try to teach the canine, but Cricket went “out of her mind with excitement, chasing all those birds and having the time of her life.”

…

After that, Noem said, “I realized I had to put her down.” She led Cricket to a gravel pit and shot and killed the dog.

Based on this comment, probably by saying some shit to someone who didn’t ask for your opinion.

Introducing the new Tesla Bunker®

5 days later: introducing the new Bezos Bunker® with a free month of Bunker Prime®

The most serious. I will go to court over it.

And cigarette cartons

This is survivorship bias. You can’t look at the chart for low-use curses. You have to look for what isn’t there, you rhino flossers.