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oh you remember the thing
oh you remember the thing
I might have some kind of stomach condition—I fart too much 💨💨💨
Let he, who is without a cum, cast the first load.
Good clean fun
I remembered the Macarena video and it warmed my heart
My girl made brownies. This is why I’m 20 pounds too heavy.
“Listen, the buck stops when they get in the way of my treats.”
My wife is snoring and I can’t sleep. But I also can’t disturb her cuz she’s cute
Got my covid booster and the flu shot. My arms fucking hurt so much.
I went grocery shopping last night and didn’t buy eggs cuz I thought we had some. We don’t.
Now I have everything for a full breakfast except the eggs.
“Zombies on Fentanyl” — new grindcore band-name just dropped
I got my cats new fancy toys
Fool was brainwormed as shit: talking about stoves, Brandon, and trans-hate on his Twitter.
I think my new cat is a dwarf
Yo this is gross af
Sup my spooky friends?