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The Picard Maneuver to Funny: Home of the Haha@lemmy.world · 2 年前

The tribulations of Tony Pizza

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The tribulations of Tony Pizza

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The Picard Maneuver to Funny: Home of the Haha@lemmy.world · 2 年前
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  • lugal@lemmy.ml
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    2 年前

    I love how she uses “little bird” as example for how great her nicknames are

    • spongebue@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      I call my wife that occasionally, but only when I ask what the word is (“what’s the word, little bird?”)

      • Aviandelight @mander.xyz
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        2 年前

        Does she respond “how now brown cow?”

        • Fat Tony@lemmy.world
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          2 年前

          I’m thinking more like: “I want a divorce, charley horse.”

          • thefartographer@lemm.ee
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            2 年前

            “Blow it out your ass, you rotting bass.”

            • tacosanonymous@lemm.ee
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              2 年前

              Imma gonna eat ya, Tony pizza.

              • Fat Tony@lemmy.world
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                2 年前

                Oooh she’ll like that one!

                • Slovene@feddit.nl
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                  2 年前

                  I’m gonna eat you out, my little trout.

          • spongebue@lemmy.world
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            2 年前

            ☹️

      • hansl@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        Bird. Bird’s the word. Ah B-B-Bird bird bird. Bird is the word.

        • dutchkimble@lemy.lol
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          2 年前

          Ma ma ma Uma mao mao

    • SatanicNotMessianic@lemmy.ml
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      2 年前

      That was the nickname they used for Tevye’s daughter Chavala in Fiddler on the Roof.

      • thefartographer@lemm.ee
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        2 年前

        Tony Pizza? I haven’t watched that movie in a while, but I feel like I’d remember Tony Pizza being serenaded by the tailor to “Wonder of Wonders.”

        • Carlo@lemmy.ca
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          2 年前

          deleted by creator

          • thefartographer@lemm.ee
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            2 年前

            Oh man! I forgot about Laser Wolf! What a classic Zero Mostel twist!

      • cheesymoonshadow@lemmings.world
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        2 年前

        Also I just realized Cersei calls Sansa “little bird.”

      • cheesymoonshadow@lemmings.world
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        2 年前

        Omg thank you! I couldn’t think of where I’d heard that used as a nickname before.

    • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      If I ever refer to anyone as little bird it’ll include miniguns.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MD_Helicopters_MH-6_Little_Bird

    • Ook the Librarian@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      It’s likely the whole reason she gets called stupid petnames is to prove that you alone can’t be the judge of it.

  • AeronMelon@lemmy.worldM
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    2 年前

    “Please help, the wedding is in three hours.”

  • MinorLaceration@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    Do people really put that much thought into pet names? I’ve always thought it should be something that comes about organically, not something forced.

    • thefartographer@lemm.ee
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      2 年前

      it should be something that comes about organically, not something forced.

      Ok, but my pet name for you is now Hemorrhoids Henry

      • GreyEyedGhost@lemmy.ca
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        2 年前

        See, organic would have been calling MinorLaceration The Black Knight. “'Tis but a scratch.”

        • thefartographer@lemm.ee
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          2 年前

          The joke is the out-of-context quote, which is similar to advice a doctor would give their patient to avoid hemorrhoids. Let the poop come naturally, don’t force it.

      • Ookami38@sh.itjust.works
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        2 年前

        Wait isn’t that the sequel to hardcore Henry?

        • thefartographer@lemm.ee
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          2 年前

          Hardcrap Henry

    • Chee_Koala@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Well my significant other is not creative at all, and started calling me poop-y, which i dislike (there are so many words, why pick a term for excrement), In that case, I had to speak my mind and explain that I did not like that pet name. Sometimes, nature needs a little help

      • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
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        2 年前

        Sometimes, nature needs a little help

        “That’s why there’s extra-ultra-strength X-lax!”

    • corsicanguppy@lemmy.caBanned
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      2 年前

      My pet name for my wife is sarcastic. Same back.

      We tried the normal ones; no good.

      • cosmicrookie@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        You really call her “sarcastic” to her face?

      • And009@lemmynsfw.com
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        2 年前

        Yeah she’s the bunny but I’m a monkey

        • WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world
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          2 年前

          For reasons unexplained, she loved the Monkey Man

          • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
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            2 年前

            … And his ridiculous yellow hat

    • chetradley@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      One day my wife said “see you later, alligator” and I reflexively replied “bye gator” and she’s been gator ever since.

    • PR3CiSiON@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Okay Manstah (from Mr. Right)

  • MirthfulAlembic@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    I would love if my spouse had a weird-ass nickname for me like that.

    • themeatbridge@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      My wife has thousands of cute nicknames for our dogs. She calls me by my first name.

      • Jubei Kibagami@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        I bet you’re in her phone with your last name, too.

        • thesporkeffect@lemmy.world
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          2 年前

          This comment could start a war, jeez

        • Guy_Fieris_Hair@lemmy.worldBanned
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          2 年前

          I’m “Asshole” in my wife’s phone. I discovered this years after she had it that when she used Google assistant to call my phone when I was looking for it. "OK Google, call my husband " “OK, calling Asshole”

        • corsicanguppy@lemmy.caBanned
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          2 年前

          Oh, that’s subtle.

      • dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works
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        2 年前

        Meatbridge?

        • Maladius@lemmy.world
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          2 年前

          The

    • Empricorn@feddit.nl
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      2 年前

      Aww, Pencil Dumpling… You’re not missing out on much!

    • porkchop@lemm.ee
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      2 年前

      I love you, sour meat 💖

      • And009@lemmynsfw.com
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        2 年前

        *your

        • porkchop@lemm.ee
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          2 年前

          No, what I wrote is what I meant 😘

  • tacosanonymous@lemm.ee
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    2 年前

    Classic.

    This is one of my favorite internet stories.

  • flashfelix@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    Call me Anthony Pizza!

  • KnightontheSun@lemmy.world
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    deleted by creator

    • irmoz@reddthat.com
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      2 年前

      Why’d you call him that?

      • SatanicNotMessianic@lemmy.ml
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        2 年前

        I’m guessing he was never at his post when they needed him.

      • KnightontheSun@lemmy.world
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        • DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe
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          Bro, you’re out here calling coworkers “drones” and acting like they’re in the wrong for not liking it.

          • thefartographer@lemm.ee
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            2 年前

            Wait wait till you hear how he came up with a nickname for the HR rep, Ass-Stick Sally.

          • KnightontheSun@lemmy.world
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            • Daxtron2
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              2 年前

              look at it from the point of view from someone who doesn’t know Star wars much at all. It sounds like a license plate lmao

              • KnightontheSun@lemmy.world
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                deleted by creator

                • Hamartia@lemmy.world
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                  2 年前

                  It’s a pretty good nickname. I’d’ve appreciated it.

        • Skates@feddit.nl
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          Wow, when I read that you’re calling him that, I was confused so I googled the guy. I saw he’s from station “o bby” and I figured it would probably be a way to hint that you’re into him. But then I kept reading…

          After Tarkin repaired G7, he sent the MSE-6 unit back to TK-421 with a holomessage that indicated his interest in the stormtrooper as well as an invitation to visit his quarters to repair his aqualeisure unit. TK-421 felt flattered that he had caught someone’s eye, telling G7 that, if he played the situation right, he could get them a transfer to Coruscant or anything else they wanted.

          Source: https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/TK-421

          I’ll summarize. TK-241 fucks an older coworker to get some favors. You calling him TK-241 was probably never interpreted as “haha you’re a drone”, but as “I’d like me some of that”. You were never the smart-ass you thought you were, you were just propositioning a coworker.

          And the fun part is, you’re a fucking star wars fan. Poor guy was probably going back home to his wife with different levels of energy every single day.

          Day 1
          This random trekkie retard at work just called me tk-241, what do you think that’s about?
          Just ignore him honey, he sounds like a weirdo.

          Day 2
          Honey, he keeps calling me that. I should probably google what it’s from.
          […]
          Holy shit. Holy shit, Jen, come and look at this. The nerd is coming onto me. What the fuck. What the actual fuck. Oh Jesus. How do I get out of this? He wants to fuck me and be my sugar daddy. Oh wow.
          Haha, the weirdo’s got a crush on you! Aawww! Johnny’s got a secret admirer!
          This isn’t funny Jen, he’s older and he can talk to people and make it hard for me at work, how the fuck do I get out of this?

          Day 3
          Oh god, he did it again. He was laughing with his buddies when he did it today. I feel so dirty. Jen, what do I do?
          Okay look, just stay calm. Lodge a complaint with HR explaining the situation. They probably can’t do much with such a dumbass reference, and he may feign ignorance, but you want it documented. Then you talk to him and say that you don’t like the nickname and to stop calling you that.
          Yeah, you’re right. Oh god, I hope he stops. I’m talking to HR tomorrow.

          Day 4
          He stopped. He finally stopped. I guess he’s weird and creepy, but at least he can take a ‘no’.
          Did you announce HR anyway?
          Oh yeah, they said if it happens again they’ll have a talk. This fucking situation just makes me feel gross though, what a fucking freak.

    • KestrelAlex@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      But does he copy?

      • KnightontheSun@lemmy.world
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        I used to think that was funny. I still do, but I used to too.

        He did not copy.

        • corsicanguppy@lemmy.caBanned
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          I miss Mitch. Thanks for the callback.

    • gazter@aussie.zone
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      Holy shit, this is fanfiction at its best/worst. I don’t know what I find more hilarious… Tarkin- the dude who coldly ordered the destruction of an entire planet- having a clandestine affair, showing his sweet loving nature; or that people have even made up backstories for whoever prepared the freaking needle that was used in Leia’s interrogation.

  • xor@infosec.pub
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    deleted by creator

    • TWeaK@lemm.ee
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      Sometimes it’s exactly what you want, though.

      • xor@infosec.pub
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        • thefartographer@lemm.ee
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          2 年前

          Don’t tell me how to eat my garbage

        • TWeaK@lemm.ee
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          Ah wait, yeah, I just looked it up and I take it back. I think I was getting it confused with a pizza chain I used to love, Anthony’s Pizza.

          • xor@infosec.pub
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            deleted by creator

            • norbert@kbin.social
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              2 年前

              If he really loved her he’d call her Totino.

          • UndecidedYellow@sh.itjust.works
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            2 年前

            Wait, are you thinking of Pizza By Anthony?

            • TWeaK@lemm.ee
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              I don’t think so, this was definitely Anthony’s Pizza. It may have gone away now, the location I remember is now rebranded to “The Pizza Place”.

      • BlanketsWithSmallpox@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JVMdBpRffcs - Ranking 14 Frozen Pizzas | Bonus Babish

    • dudinax@programming.dev
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      He should go with Totino Pizza

  • Cowbee [he/they]@lemmy.mlBanned
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    What a delightful microcosm of the human experience. Tony Pizza.

  • 0ops@lemm.ee
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    2 年前

    FUCK YOU TONY (pizza)

  • Ricky Rigatoni@lemm.ee
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    2 年前

    Some women just don’t know how to appreciate a keeper :/

  • beirdobaggins@lemmy.world
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    I’ll just leave this graffiti here.

    fartdog ❤️s munki

    • Buildout@lemmy.world
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      If you have graffiti photos we want them here: !graffiti@lemmy.world.

  • cheese_greater@lemmy.world
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    The Crevice

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