Lil Kevlar’s getting a bit too big to carry around. The world’s cringiest Nazi needs a new meat shield.

The “I’m not trans because there’s never been any signs that I’m trans” to “holy fuck in retrospect there were a ton of obvious signs” pipeline

Nightwink

It’s always the ones you most suspect.

The profession, too. Sometimes it’s a conservative priest, a conservative pastor, a conservative activist, a conservative influencer, a conservative conspiracy theorist, a conservative terrorist, etc.

You can buy an external CD drive that connects via USB

Jokes on you I scheduled PTO for tomorrow

These comics are so funny to me

Homies being homies is something I’ve run into. But no kind strangers have offered that shit for free.

from 18 years ago

Strangers never try to give me free drugs. Nancy Reagan was a lying bitch.

He hit his head hard. Luckily for him you can’t get a concussion without a brain.

Common MacKenzie Scott W

Common MacKenzie Scott W

I believe some translations say something along the lines of “if a man lays with a man as he would a woman, he must be stoned.” So just take a good, long rip from the bong beforehand and you’re golden.

Dishes I can manage. Actually folding my laundry instead of living out of several baskets and piles of clothing that occasionally get dirty clothes mixed in? Now that’s a problem.

She was like “Well, God doesn’t make mistakes, does he? Hmm? Hmm?”

Genesis Chapter 6 verse 6:

6 The Lord regretted that he had made human beings on the earth, and his heart was deeply troubled. 7 So the Lord said, “I will wipe from the face of the earth the human race I have created—and with them the animals, the birds and the creatures that move along the ground—for I regret that I have made them.”

Translation:

Prove me wrong. Launching Kyle Rittenhouse directly into the sun will help America to be great again.

Fuck the police 🥰

It makes a lot more sense when you realize just how many of America’s stated ideals are completely made up. We have the most freedom despite having the largest prison population in the world and one of the highest incarceration rates. We are the wealthiest country in the world but apparently cannot afford basic social programs for our citizens. We are the safest country in the world despite having a mass shooting every 5 seconds. Most of what people love to brag about in regards to America’s greatness is just gaslighting.