I mean, that’s probably not gonna get the girl, but I think you taught her dad a little humility
Starts talking about his own custom 1911 “First of all, the feeding ramp is polished to a mirror sheen. It’s not going to have any feeding problems. The slide’s been replaced with a reinforced version, and it meshes perfectly with the frame. The frame itself has been iron-welded and scraped down multiple times for maximum precision. The front strap part of the frame has been checkered to make it dig into the hand. That prevents any slipping. The sight system’s original too. It’s a 3-dot type. It’s got an enlarged front sight, giving it superior target sighting capability. The regular hammer’s been replaced with a ring hammer. That enhances the cocking control and increases the hammer-down speed. They also reworked the grip safety to accommodate the ring hammer. It looks like they eliminated it altogether. This is a tool for pros. The thumb safety and slide stop are extended for precise handling. The base of the trigger guard is whittled down so you can use a high grip, and the trigger itself is a long type for easy finger access. The trigger pull is about 3.5 pounds. that’s about a pound and a half lighter than normal. The magazine well has been widened to make it easier to put in a new magazine. The magazine catch button has been filed down low to make it harder to hit it by mistake. The mainspring housing has been changed to a flat type to increase grip, and it’s even been fitted with stepping so that it won’t slip from the recoil when firing. On top of that, they added cocking serrations to the top part of the slide. That lets you load and eject cartridges faster in an emergency. Whoever did this is a professional, no question. This thing could shoot a one-hole at 25 yards in a machine rest.”
Just take the safety off. It’s a mechanical device that can and will fail when you need it most. The best safety you have is yourself and rigidly held gun handling rules.
0% chance of this being real, but that was a fun read
It’s wholly realistic, where I live, autism or not!
autism or not!
Lmaoà, I thought 'tism was patriotism at first because guns + patriots unoe? Autism makes more sense.
That makes a pretty hilarious pun, tbh.
Patriautism.
And on this day, the term patriautism was coined
seems like a fun place! can you tell me where you live so i can (avoid to) go (anywhere near) there? :D
This is America
thanks for being specific
This is the story of a girl,
Red state. Nuff said.
this guy’s never heard of Murica
the most unrealistic part is an autist with a gun
Most unrealistic part is existence of women. If they were real, I would have seen one before.
oh god. my first girlfriend’s dad showed me his gun collection the first time I visited the house and I got so absorbed in field stripping his MAK-90 that I forgot she was there
You passed the test. Hope you and your wife had a good honeymoon.
What wife? He’s her step-dad now. That’d be ridiculous.
I mean yeah, funny greentext, fake and gay and all, but is that an actual thing that happens across the big pond?
If someone did that in Europe they’d be in serious legal trouble if the threatened party sues.
Sounds legal overall for America. “Brandishing” is generally illegal, i.e pulling out your gun and pointing it at or actively threatening someone with it, regardless if you fire it.
Pulling out your legal gun in your home and setting it flat on your table? Hard to argue it was a threatening without a stated threat or some other action. It may have been one, but id be suprised if anyone would arrest someone over that.
OP pulling his own gun does make this a hilarious and potentially deadly situation. It’s very possible the father is a scared pissbaby and just starts blasting.
Yeah, I was gonna say we’re past the point of legality being the biggest concern in that situation.
Either way that guy is not coming to my wedding
So, what do we Europeans whip out and place on the coffee table to make a statement?
GDPR pocket books
Data protection regulation for dummies I’m assuming? Mein Deutsch ist sehr schlecht.
GDPR for Dummies. GDPR is DSGVO in German, “Datenschutz-Grundverordnung”.
Cock
Spotted dick
No way, that’s only after the 5th family date
Nah the second one is in a sauna
And too obvious and not specific to European c***.
A bottle of wine. Good wine preferably.
Health insurance policies
Hmm, you’d think that. But actually health insurance works here. It’s nothing to brag about. I rarely hear people talking about it. At least not more than they talk about their households contents insurance. (I mean guns in the USA also aren’t something exceptional… so you might have a point.)
I’m sure people who have good health insurance in the US don’t see it as an issue. But what about all the others?
Nah guns are more like dutch bicycles. Yes we all have several, but each is important and must be talked about
“Health insurance works… … nothing to brag about”
Ah, the elite countries with their made up issues /s
Beans on toast.
I severely doubt English degeneracy reflects anywhere else in Europe.
Haha. Good point. Universal healthcare then?
Barftastic
Yes. Unless it’s done well.
A cheese wheel?
Water pistols. (Optionally modified to shoot liquid nitrogen)
While it sounds badass “shooting” liquid nitrogen is in fact quite useless. Source: i had liquid nitrogen poured over my hands at room temp. It just feels like cold water as it quickly evaporates before actually touching it.
See video for example and when it acts different.
It’s not meant to cause too much damage. If I wanted that I’d attach a match to the front and shoot fuel instead but that sounds even less legal.
Knives?
Never had someone point a gun at me like that, but I dated a girl in college that had a dickhead 2nd amendment gun nut dad who never missed an opportunity to mention he had guns and wasn’t afraid to use them if I “didn’t take good care of his daughter.” It didn’t intimidate me in the slightest though, and just let me know he was a scared, insecure loser.
I had just finished my range day and I had my guns stripped for cleaning when my step daughter dropped of my son for his weekend visit with her boyfriend.
I wasn’t trying to flex or anything, but I did find it funny. Luckily she married a different guy after college.
“Step daughter dropped of my son” has a real Alabama vibe.
I literally don’t understand the relationships in his comment. I simply can’t get my head around it
OP (dad), married a woman and accepted her daughter into the family, making her his stepdaughter. We’ll call her Drake. Dad already had a son from a previous marriage. We’ll call the son Josh. Drake and Josh became close stepsiblings. Drake started dating a boy, who we’ll call Freddy. Drake introduced Freddy to Josh, and they hang out every week at Josh’s place to play Overwatch. Drake brought Freddy to her house, where dad was cleaning his guns, just in time for Freddy to walk past on his way to Josh’s room.
It’s really funny that you’ve chosen a male name for the only female character
If you open up your mind
See what’s inside
I think his stepdaughter, with her boyfriend, dropped off his son for the son’s weekend visit with him (him being the commenter, the father).
It reads like his son was visiting his stepdaughter’s boyfriend. Maybe it is that, but it’d be odd.
Lemme know if you figure it out, I’ve read his comment about 12× and still scratching my head.
OP’s step daughter and her boyfriend came over to drop off OP’s son for his weekend visit.
Woman has daughter. Woman marries man. Man and woman have son. I guess man and woman break up? Son has weekly visits to man, daughter of woman brings son to man. Or maybe son goes to boarding school or something 🤷♂️
That is the reasonable explanation. If you want to imagine the situation with a banjo soundtrack nobody is stopping you.
Naw, no banjo. Was just super confused.
Your line of reasoning seems sound, let’s just go with that until we hear from OP.
Just a few southern states, and outliers. But really, not so much now. It happened once when I was a kid and the dad was an asshole, so I married his daughter to spite him. Couple decades later and I regret that marriage and wish I would have went with my first instinct and asked if he wanted me to clean it because it was dirty.
This idiotic bullshit happens all over, it’s just more concentrated in the South.
This happened to a friend of mine from the UK in fixing Minnesota. He had NO context for what was happening and almost shit his pants.
It’s by dudes that claim to have fucked a lot of bitches in their early years. It’s not as serious as it sounds. Well. The best part is reminding them of what they claim they did if they talk like that.
They almost never have their guns at work.
Isn’t it tradition?
LOL no they wouldn’t. Unless your kitchen has a camera, it’d be practically impossible to prove.
Thanks for sharing the rest of the post. But I’m confused about who is speaking what during the last three lines after “even on our dates”.
GF: “Did you always have a gun?”
Anon: “I always carry”
GF: “Even on our dates? Did you think I was gonna rob you or something?”
Anon: “Muggers don’t wait until it’s convienient for you to get robbed, you know?”
GF: “Oh that makes sense.”
GF, Anon, GF.
Anon, then anon, then gf
Girl: even on our dates
2A bro: did you think I was gonna mug you? Why would I wait?
Girl: got it
That better?
Though it makes it even less believable. Most dads I know that might do that have daughters that would appreciate it lol
“Did you think I was gonna mug you?” came from the girl, not 2A bro
Hm. Mayhaps.
Tbh i dont understand this. Probably because im european plus im tired but i cant figure it out.
Dad shows a gun to show OP he’s a badass. Op doesn’t realize and shows his gun.
Common American culture is that you’re supposed to show your gun on the third date with the family, not the first. You’re also supposed to have a Mexican standoff when you walk into the house, with dad aiming at you, you’re aiming at dad, dog aims at GF, etc. And if he’s lucky, they have a rousing game of Russian roulette before tapas.
Totally understandable if you didn’t know. Just basic 2A knowledge every American learns about during elementary school.
Thanks for explaining the culture, they never show real America in the movies
Yeah. Real America sounds tougher than Sons of Anarchy
Leave it to Hollywood to sanitize real American living and make it so kid friendly!
It’s important to remember if you’re ever in Los Angeles, New York, or Miami, all three of the major American cities.
I guess this is where the concept of the “nuclear family” comes from then? After the initial courtship hostilities, the escalation of the arms race is inevitable.
Yes, by the time you have a steady relationship you’re at a place of Mutually Assured Dating
dad aiming at you, you’re aiming at dad, dog aims at GF, etc.
The Aristocrats!
You start learning it in day care depending on the region
So are those armoured backpacks for children considered cheating?
Some people can afford better load outs. Normal p2w bullshit.
Yeah, it does Give them a slightly unfair advantage over the active shooter, that’s why the cops had to wait, they were required to give them a head start.
A surprising amount of rules involved in it.
Cheapskate parents, actually. Most parents get their kids a BALCS carrier with level III soft inserts, some ESAPI plates, and a level III or IIIa helmet. But some parents cheap out and just get their kid a backpack and split a set of plates between kids.
They taught me in kindergarten
what the fuck
The first sentence is real, the rest is just a fun bit of hyperbole. It really is not that common for an overprotective father to brandish a gun at his daughter’s new boyfriend, but it has happened enough times to become something of a trope.
To give you a slightly more serious answer, there’s a trope in America of the girl friend’s dad doing something to “subtly intimidate” the boy friend by casually cleaning a gun or having one within sight the first time they meet. The implication of course is supposed to be something along the lines of “I’ve got this and if you try anything funny with my daughter, I’ll use it on you”
It’s dumb but I’ve also known more than a few people who have experienced this first hand.
It gives say-no-to-me-or-any-other-male-in-my-fam-and-we’ll-dump-acid-on-you vibes
Yeah, I went to senior prom with my friend. I didn’t have a license or a car yet, so my aunt drove us there in her baseball team van, and she was gonna drive us both home too. Suuuper romantic. Her dad met us there, pulled me aside to show me his little pocket knife and threatened to castrate me. I just laughed at him. We were both virgins, so far as I knew. While in hindsight she had a crush on me, I was way too awkward, nerdy, religious, and oblivious to realize. Sex never even crossed my mind as a possibility.
It’s a thing that basic dickhead fathers look forward to doing; threatening their daughter’s boyfriend in case he ever thinks he and his girlfriend might ever want to have sex.
Repost + it’s missing the rest of the joke at the end.
What is the part that is missing about?
The boyfriend interpreted as a bonding moment.
The father meant his placing the gun as a threat and got “called” on his bluff and gets angry.
I mean I kinda understand the threat and bonding mismatch from what we have. The part where he gets angry is missing.
Dad doesn’t like losing the illusion of power. He thinks it’s perfectly fine to threaten someone but is a hypocrite the moment he met with equal force. So they tried gaslighting and getting defensive and blaming the person that they tried to threaten.
Hell, that could work fine. At least there’s one big button issue they would agree on for sure.
Is this an euphemism of both putting their penis out on the table?
What? No, literal guns. The hell?
Actual penises would probably be more normal…
No that’s “muh hog”
I am pretty sure I am not allowed to pull out and place even an airsoft gun on the table where I live. The rules clearly state that it must be kept locked in a safe. That would be an easy way to get someone’s license revoked if you record it…
Welcome to America
Airsoft license?
They must not be Americans. I envy them, but at least when I eat my own weight in pizza it’s actually good pizza.
I’m blessed by the insurance gods. Guns, abortions and insurance. Pizza is also kinda nice.
Yup. You first prove that you are sane and have no criminal background, your local government provides you with a certificate for that. And then you acknowledge that you know the rules and stuff. The final step is paying a small yearly fee.
For the 'lil plastic pellets? Or the similarly-sized lead ones?
Yes?
I don’t think this is legal basically anywhere. In the US, this would be brandishing or threatening with a deadly weapon.
It’d be hard to prove brandishing. As another poster said, it’s a legal weapon, in the homeowners abode, placed on the table, not pointed at or waived at the person, with nothing said around it. It’d be really hard to prove anything. He’ll, look at the white couple that was literally brandishing their guns and they almost got away with it.
Anon does say it was facing him
Which is poor gun handling, but I’m not sure you could get your licence taken away for it.
What license?
Yeah, in Texas at least, you don’t need a license to have a gun in your own house or car.
Yeah maybe. Doesn’t seem to stop redneck fathers of teenage girls in conservative states. They consider it a rite of passage for fatherhood.
My FIL did a gun cleaning night when I was first taking his daughter out on dates. Had 3 guns disassembled on the kitchen table and let me know they’d be reassembled by the time I brought her home. He’s a really nice guy, but yes, that shit is “normal” in the US
It isn’t normal, the weirdos just think everyone else acts like them.
Back in my college days I was picking a GF up from her dads house and walked up to him sitting on the porch with a rifle in his lap. He was cool with me but it was still awkward. I was just like “… shooting stuff?”. “God damn squirrels won’t stay out of my garden”.
I had a high school girlfriend whose dad pulled that bullshit. I realized quickly that I didn’t like her enough to deal with that level of crazy.
Yeah, you can do that in your own house pretty easily.
Ok
Is that a “who has a bigger dick” competiton ?
No, whose is smaller.
Chad move!
There’s my daily literal lol. Thanks OP!
Buckshot Roulette IRL
I’d love to know what happened next. I’m sure it was a hoot.
I actually remember this one being much longer. IIRC, dad starts yelling that he “won’t be threatened in his own house”, anon gets confused and tries to explain, mom starts yelling, he leaves the house, gf gets mad at him for even having the gun, asking how long he’s been carrying it with him.
That’d be hilarious, as it confirms that the dad wanted to intimidate anon by pulling out his gun and in turn got intimidated by anon’s gun.
Found the full thing:
Lmaoà, the escalation reminds me of that Tumblr thread about making tea.
@ChairmanMeow@programming.dev, from CHS by the way?
I don’t know what CHS is so I’m not sure what you mean by that (then again that might answer your question maybe :P).
then again that might answer your question maybe :P
Haha, Canadian Hardware Swap.
Yeah, I suppose it do answer my question 🥲Haha I’m not Canadian and live about an ocean away from there, so definitely not me 😋. Lovely place though, I should visit sometime (and swap hardware I guess 😅).
its honestly funnier without
Everyone stood up and clapped.
Can confirm, i’m that gun.
